DRAWING A LEAF FROM OUR OWN FAMILY

 

DRAWING A LEAF FROM OUR OWN FAMILY

We had put both of our sons at the Christ Nagar English Medium High School for their schooling from the fifth standard.  It wasn’t co-ed at that time. I was happy they were in a premium English Medium School. I knew my failings, studying in a Malayalam medium Government High School. Though I had been a good student, though I had good teachers, though I had an exceptionally commendable result at the SSLC, though I could easily garner admission at the UCCollege, Aluva, a premium institution, I had been all at sea in the College atmosphere. I was lost. The abrupt shift from the Malayalam medium to the English medium had damaged my intellect and my career beyond redemption. I could not communicate well in English. I could not understand the nuances of the language. The deficiency had played havoc with my career too as I had found it difficult to land a job and finally my functioning when I had a job. I was happy my children would not have the hard grind I had. But it was not to be. They still do suffer from the Christ Nagar branded English medium.

‘SPEAK ENGLISH’, the School had written everywhere. But no one spoke English there.  The teachers communicated in Malayalam.

I found the going pathetic. I told my sons to speak in English at least when they were at home. I said their mother. PG in English, degree in English, (both from Women’s College), Pre-degree at All Saints College, and Schooling in Holy Angels was the apt person to bring them up in an English medium environment. But all the three were diffident. They confined themselves to Malayalam with a vengeance putting to naught my pleadings.

I did not let go. I asked a classmate of my elder son at the degree level whether he was well conversant in English. He said he was not. I asked him again whether he wished to acquire the skill. He said yes. I had asked him to bring a few of his friends if they were interested.

We had around ten young men at home. I invited my sons and my wife to join the group. I had been very concerned about my younger son who had been insecure to the core.

Well, the activity began.

I said each one had to speak. There would be a topic they themselves would choose the previous week. One person would speak on the topic for fifteen minutes in English. They would have to stand and speak and there would be no allowance on the fifteen minutes criteria. Once the speech was delivered, the rest had to do a critique. They should not speak in any other language than English, once session was on.

The young men took up the challenge sportingly. The improvement was clearly visible as time progressed.

After a while the sessions could not be continued.

One day, I and my wife were strolling on the road adjacent to the Secretariat. We saw someone riding pillion on a Scooter and waving.  They stopped the Scooter. It was one of the participants in our sessions along with his mother. As we stood there waiting both of them ran back to reach us. The youngster introduced us to his mother and said, ”Amma, these are the people who have made me what I am.”

We felt fulfilled.

I narrated the story solely to suggest we can extend the activity anywhere.. The participants would be better off if we do this. If feasible, the modality could be worked out. My only suggestion is the sessions should be confined to one hour with groups of ten students each, once or twice a week, monitored by  those who are well conversant in English.

I remember the words of the CSI Moderator while attending a Governing Council meeting of the KUT Seminary, Kannammoola, Thiruvananthapuram, “The graduates from KUTS should have the ability to lead Worship in English and deliver messages in English, just as they develop the proficiency in Malayalam or their mother tongue.”

DELIVERING UNDER PRESSURE

 

DELIVERING UNDER PRESSURE

 

Success and failure are very much dependent on the paradoxes of the mind.

 

There had been an experiment with two groups of people.

 

The first group was given a task to find a solution to a problem. They were given sufficient time to deliberate. They were not saddled with anything else or any distraction during the period.

 

Though they had finally submitted their solution, it was found to be wrong.

 

The second group was given the same task. However the group was saddled with distractions during the whole period. They did not have any free moment to think at all. They could not deliberate freely like the other group. They had the same time the other group had.

 

Finally when they came up with the solution it was found to be correct.

 

The findings were both emphatic and paradoxical. Those who had enough time failed in picking the right solution whereas the distractions had improved the performance of the second group manifold.

 

Thinking too much was the curse for the first group. Their conscious deliberations finally made them reach the wrong end.

 

For the second group the conscious mind was distracted. They were forced to rely on memory as they could not freely deliberate at all. It enabled the subconscious mind to come up with the right solution.

 

The author focuses on the penalty shootout in a football match. Unless the penalty taker could free his mind of emotions that swell within and could keep the mind blank the lonely walk from the middle of the ground to the penalty spot would play havoc with his chances to score.

 

My own experiences reveal the same. When I had to write an examination or face an interview, it was imperative I had to prepare well to succeed. However I did not succeed whenever I had failed to keep my mind blank for a short while   preceding the examination or the interview.

I had seen my son succeeding in his attempts when he had adopted the tactic.

 

Courtesy THE GREATEST, Matthew Syed

 

RT.REV.DR. OOMMEN GEORGE BISHOP CSI KOLLAM KOTTARAKKARA DIOCESE KERALA INDIA

 

KERALA UNITED THEOLOGICAL SEMINARY

KANNAMMOOLA THIRUVANANTHAPURAM

CONVOCATION ON 8 JANUARY 2021

EXCERPTS FROM THE ADDRESS

BY RT.REV.DR. OOMMEN GEORGE BISHOP CSI KOLLAM KOTTARAKKARA DIOCESE

 

The Bishop spoke from his heart. Quite unlike many others he was not reading out a prepared script. It was captivating.   A rambling exhortation – Chaucer style. It went on and on for one hour and fifteen minutes. The audience listened intently. It was an exhortation to the students who were passing out. An exhortation to grow into missionaries of Jesus Christ for life, discover themselves and realize their potential. It was indeed an explosive yet intensive lecture for the students in their final hour at KUTS.

 

He told them bluntly what they should be and what they should not be.  He told them where they should be. He told them how they should face the world. He called upon them to serve. He told them to expect nothing in return when they go out to serve. He told them not to crave for recognition, riches or position. He assured God would look after them. He reminded that life at the Parishes would be far too different from the life at the Seminary .  He envisaged a scenario where they would have an Ammachi – a grand mother  –  sitting in front who would nod vigorously as they hand out or read out  Greek words   and high sounding ideals  peppering  their sermons. He said the Ammachi would go away muttering to herself the Achen was not fit for the Parish. The response would be no different with the Achayan – the modern man -  in full suit.. The message he had conveyed was that the sermons had to reach the audience.  The sermons had to come from deep within their hearts. He exhorted them to stay relevant in their sermons.

 

He said God had chosen them like He had chosen Moses to lead the Israelites. When Moses had expressed misgivings as had a stammer, God gave him Aaron. God entrusted the Ten Commandments solely to Moses to be passed on to the Israelite.

 

 The Bishop had begun sedately. He revealed how he came out from an income tax payees’ role to priesthood. The journey had begun in 1989 when he took admission at the KUTS. Prior to that he had attended a meeting at Coimbatore where he along with his wife had chosen the arduous path.

 

The Bishop’s father had been an evangelist who had lived on to the age of 100. ( A pious man who had once visited my house in the 1980s  when he was in Trivandrum on a Jail Mission. He had no demands.)

 

The Bishop said when he had conveyed his intention to become a priest and serve in the Lord’s vineyard, his father had asked him to choose the life of an evangelist instead. His mother who had been a teacher had told him she had suffered a lot in looking after the family when his father had been on the evangelistic drive. She did not want him to walk into a life of suffering. The mother had passed away at the age of 75, a year after Oommen George entered KUTS.

 

ILLUSORY SUPERIORITY

 

ILLUSORY SUPERIORITY

Many of us think we are better than we are. It is very difficult to accept someone else is better than us. The phenomenon is termed illusory superiority. The super intelligent too are susceptible to it.

When you work in transient positions, you are shifted to locations far and near in frequent intervals.  Wherever you are there would be the subordinates who remain, where they join,  till retirement.

As time wears on, they assume they alone know everything. The illusory superiority they evince gets the better of you. You start craving for appreciation from them for whatever you do even though you are the boss. You go wrong here. You are in charge.  You have to run the show.  The mandate you have is from your superiors. You have to derive appreciation from them for your performance.

If you wish to succeed never stack your subordinates with an illusory superiority alien to them. The balance is delicate. There are areas where they are much better off. Seek from them wherever they are ahead. Never play spoilsport letting your ego saddle you with an illusory superiority over the rest.

The phenomenon of illusory superiority is not by any means bad. When we rate ourselves highly we tend to become more positive, optimistic and resilient.  But when we are set aside or overlooked in a competition or in the selection for a placement, it leads to a sense of injustice that can be destructive.

Condition your mind to accept you were rejected not because the boss or the selector was a raving lunatic, but because you were not good enough.

The realization is the impetus for your own improvement.

The Greatest, Matthew Syed

 

HOPE

HOPE

Hope is not blind optimism

Hope is believing in the face of adversity

We can overcome and step

Into a better world.

Never lose hope.

Never be mad.

Never be frustrated.

For progress never moves directly

In a straight line.

An adaptation  from a

U S  election campaign speech 

for Joe Biden by Barack Obama 

in Octobter 2020.

Reengineering colleagues who in your view falter or desist to act as they are mandated

 

Jesus said, “Before you try to remove the speck from your neighbour’s eye, ensure the speck in your own eye is taken off.”

Man management needs tact, patience, sympathy and empathy. It doesn’t mean that the manager has to be docile or inactive. He has to be proactive. He has a job on his hands.  He has to accomplish what is assigned to him within the timeline set by his superiors or the system. There is no way out of the impasse. If you think you can accomplish everything by yourself you are in a fool’s paradise. You cannot be the lone ranger.  Everyone needs someone.

The subordinates are clever. They grow in their smartness as time progresses or as the generation shifts to the next. They take advantage of your good senses to remain idle. They know very well if they choose to do little or nothing, nothing is to go wrong for them.  They know their boss would somehow get the job on hand done without their intervention as he has no alternative if he proposes to retain his job.

Our parents had nothing when they began their life. They gave us whatever they could much beyond their means. We had something to begin with. We had means. We have ensured that our children have a better deal. But it is a global phenomenon. You are not unique. Everyone has means. Today they can chuck off their jobs on a whim and they won’t starve.

Fear was the key when we were working. Fear is not the key today.

Look at your Mummy. A fantastic woman. A multitasker. A great cook. Who loves her husband, children and her mother. She has no demands for herself. She strives for the family. But how many are like her? Very few, life tells us.

This is micro.

The macro is where you are. The environment you are in.

Just as Mummy cannot change her parents, her husband or her children – of course there are legal methods available to alter the situation that would be equivalent to a major critical surgery where the outcome would be unambiguously unpredictable – you are in a situation where you will have to manage with the resources you have. You have no choice. Perhaps you could hand over the pink slip at will, but when you do it with a flourish you have to understand that someone somewhere waits with a similar fate for you.

We have a curious mix in the banks today. The staff is well educated. They may even be better than you in every respect. As they are well off they can hit it off spectacularly without the well paid job they have.

Fact is, you need them.

Enforce discipline you must. They would have to conform and learn to conform if they shirk.

But you are not the ancient Head Master who had roamed the corridors with an iron hand and the sword, nee, the baton or the rod. We had feared him, never respected him. However modern times signify that those golden days are over.

Now, the pertinent poser.

You would have to marshal the assets you have wisely. You can laugh with them. But they have to know you are the boss. But never boss them or give them the impression you are bossing them. Never be subjective. You have to be objective. Take them into confidence wherever possible. It doesn’t mean you have to share the confidential with them. Let the confidential stay confidential.

Never shout at them even when they exceed the limit according to your perception. Never fire away at them after office hours. You have to respect their private space. Never be angry with them or shout at them in presence of others. It saps their ego. You don’t have to break their ego to get things done. You have to wisely make their ego play its part to get things done and resolve issues. It is like cricket. The batsman employs the power the bowler unleashes to hit a Six effortlessly. It is nothing but patience and talent.

Display your anger softly. I can assure when you shout it generates negative vibes.  Negativity unlocks cold anger – they cannot retaliate in the open and in turn invites subtlety in their response – that paves the way for the downfall of their tormentor who in their eyes would be the most hated person on earth.

Praise them wherever it is due. Praise them for even little or minor things. Acknowledge them.

But you have to be firm when you tell them to do their job or  to act. They have to be pushed into a slot where they cannot get away without compliance. It is delicate. Ensure you are not breaking the thin thread of friendship or normalcy when you do that. Be a good listener. Smile.

Cinema is the willing suspension of disbelief. Real life is no different. Be a sport and suspend your perceptions when the need arises. You could be wrong.

People have to learn they have to pool their resources or capabilities for the good of the organization. For, without the organization no one has any locus standi when they are within. The organization sets the sights. You have to forgo your own self respect for the sake of the organization.

You have to reengineer yourself before you set out on the expedition to reorient your coworkers or subordinates. Keep your eyes and ears open. Have the magnanimity to learn from others and in fact the lowest on the pyramid. They can teach you quite a lot. Accept that however much you know your knowledge is limited. People respect your chair, not you. You are nothing but an insignificant cog.

Please understand nothing is permanent in the world. Everything is transitory or transient. Everything is cyclic. The one on top rides down to the bottom. He would ascend again. Employ at once dynamism and flexibility. But temper your act. Be kind.

Never be overconfident. Remember pride goes before a fall.

Finally have quality time with family. Your mind has to be clear. You have to be focused and yet you must unwind yourself as much as you can.  As you drive around enjoy the nature and its serenity. It takes a load off. It is bliss to bask in the magnificence of nature. It’d transform you. The transition would alter you dramatically into a brand new being.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

DENTIST DR. ANNAMMA GEORGE - PIONEER - LITTLE KNOWN YET A GREAT ACCOMPLISHER

 

DR. ANNAMMA GEORGE





Dr. Annamma George  started practicing as a Dentist in 1959. Her husband
Mr. KV George was a Station Master in the Indian Railways. She started her practice initially at Kollam and it was later shifted to Pettah,Trivandrum. Her clinic was adjacent to the Karthika Theatre at Pettah on the main road to Sanghumugham Beach.. She was clinical in her approach in a career spanning 45 years. Her health dissuaded her from continuing the  practice in the year 2004. She is now 88 and leads a peaceful retired life. She is a pioneer. When she had started her practice in Trivandrum  she was the only woman Dentist in the city.  People had flocked to her clinic from near and afar and she had a flourishing practice. She had pleasing manners. She never had fleeced her patients. She had a commitment and total dedication. Dr. Mathew Thomas, leading Physician, once remarked, " When I was boy I had visited her for filling a cavity. Though fillings done later on other cavities had to be redone several times the filling Dr. Annamma George had done has remained strong even now."




Dr. Annamma George passed away on 5th August 2020 at 10.20 AM. after a brief illness.
She was 95, Sixteen days short of celebrating her 96th birth day.  She would have been 96
 on 21st August 2020. 
The funeral was held at the St.Thomas Mar Thoma Church Cemetery, Pattoor, Thiruvanathapuram 
 on the same day, the 5th August 2020 at 5 PM.
Losing her husband in the year 1984,  it had been a long and arduous journey. Compressed into a less than five feet frame, she had been a fighter all along.  

She had been well looked after by her daughters and their families, each one of  them competing with the others to provide her the very best.
The younger daughter, Lila, stayed with her and attended to her throughout till she breathed her last.
She left all those who loved her orphaned, desolate and shattered.

She had had a good and contented life. She had never been demanding. 
She knew only to love. She knew only to give. She knew only to care.
The good soul she had been the end was very peaceful and quiet.
She simply flew away to her mentor.