THE BIG TAMASHA

Driving on roads these days is a big tamasha.

As you try to take your car out you find another vehicle parked in front of your gate. You are frustrated. Somehow you manage to locate the owner. The person is angry with you for daring to request him to move the vehicle a bit. He grudgingly gives you some space through which you manage to squeeze your car on to the road. You are not yet on your way. As you move forward there is the lazy cat taking its nap in the middle of the road. It refuses to budge despite the loud horn. You don't like to run over it either. A good lady buying milk from the adjacent shop rushes to carry the cat out of harm. You cannot still proceed. The truck with soft drinks, a number of two wheelers, three wheelers and four wheelers are parked haphazardly.

Dodging them all you manage successfully to shift to second gear. Your travails are not yet over. There is the school van picking up children. Mothers stand in the middle of the road conversing happily with the crew and waving 'bye to children. You reach the main road. The traffic is heavy and no one lets you enter. You put the vehicle into first gear and start crawling. At last a good soul lets you in. The travails persist. You cannot accelerate because the vehicle in front moves at a slow pace. You cannot overtake since there is a steady flow of traffic in the opposite direction. The impatient drivers behind you honk their horns sharply imploring you to lift your vehicle out of the road. In between you find two wheelers roaring past on the right and the left. As a rule overtaking  is carried out through the left. You have the women riders and drivers sticking to the middle of the road at 10 to 20 kmph. You have to manage the dogs on the road as well. Another impediment is the people happily crossing the road or jaywalking totally immersed in their mobile phones. Then we have men and women idling their time rooted close to the omnipresent puddles on the road. Even if you drive very slowly you'll splash dirty water on to the idlers inviting their wrath. Yet another danger that you come across is the girl or woman popping out of her compound all of a sudden on to the road simultaneously tying her hair ignoring the heavy traffic. As you cruise along you hear  a noise of high decibel. Your companion is scared stiff. You would advise her to keep calm for it is nothing and that it is only a ripe coconut falling on top of the car denting it.

If you are able to overcome such minor impediments more are to follow. There are drivers who take their vehicles in a zig zag manner to avoid pot holes popularly known as gutters on the road. They are unpredictable because they are concerned about the welfare of their vehicles alone. The passenger buses move along at a leisurely pace stopping and taking off without any signals. The three wheelers are strange companions on the road. They follow no rules. They would crawl along to pick up passengers. The moment they have a passenger they would race to their destination throwing safety  to the wind. They would take U-turns in the middle of heavy traffic without any indication.

Finally as you reach your destination you come across the security guard who waves you in looking the other way. You'll have a hell of a job avoiding hitting or injuring him and at the same time avoiding crashing  on the outbound vehicle. You heave a sigh of big relief as your vehicle come to a stop. 

Unfortunately  more is in store. You have parked your car under a tree. The watchman rushes in frantically and tells you that in a strong gush of wind a branch of the tree has fallen off  severely damaging the hood of the car. It puts you at your wits end.

Driving indeed is a big tamasha.