RISK AVERSION

 

RISK AVERSION

We protect our children as they are precious to us. We place them in the protective mode.  Biologists call it the ‘shield tendency’. Parents are worried about their little ones getting hurt playing sport, going on adventure or climbing trees, they impose strict control upon them to prevent the occurrence any unfortunate mishaps.  They are forced to confine themselves to their studies. The parents are after their children to make it good in the world as they delineate. But there are risks if you are over protective. Kids lose their sense of adventure, their spirits, their resilience, their sense of humour and their joy. Eventually they lose their way as they grow up. Do not structure them. Do not think for them. Do not force risk aversion upon them. Let them speak. Let them think. Let them fall and get up. Let them act. Let them laugh. Let them take reasonable risks. Let them grow up as the finest individuals they ever can be.  

DRAWING A LEAF FROM OUR OWN FAMILY

 

DRAWING A LEAF FROM OUR OWN FAMILY

We had put both of our sons at the Christ Nagar English Medium High School for their schooling from the fifth standard.  It wasn’t co-ed at that time. I was happy they were in a premium English Medium School. I knew my failings, studying in a Malayalam medium Government High School. Though I had been a good student, though I had good teachers, though I had an exceptionally commendable result at the SSLC, though I could easily garner admission at the UCCollege, Aluva, a premium institution, I had been all at sea in the College atmosphere. I was lost. The abrupt shift from the Malayalam medium to the English medium had damaged my intellect and my career beyond redemption. I could not communicate well in English. I could not understand the nuances of the language. The deficiency had played havoc with my career too as I had found it difficult to land a job and finally my functioning when I had a job. I was happy my children would not have the hard grind I had. But it was not to be. They still do suffer from the Christ Nagar branded English medium.

‘SPEAK ENGLISH’, the School had written everywhere. But no one spoke English there.  The teachers communicated in Malayalam.

I found the going pathetic. I told my sons to speak in English at least when they were at home. I said their mother. PG in English, degree in English, (both from Women’s College), Pre-degree at All Saints College, and Schooling in Holy Angels was the apt person to bring them up in an English medium environment. But all the three were diffident. They confined themselves to Malayalam with a vengeance putting to naught my pleadings.

I did not let go. I asked a classmate of my elder son at the degree level whether he was well conversant in English. He said he was not. I asked him again whether he wished to acquire the skill. He said yes. I had asked him to bring a few of his friends if they were interested.

We had around ten young men at home. I invited my sons and my wife to join the group. I had been very concerned about my younger son who had been insecure to the core.

Well, the activity began.

I said each one had to speak. There would be a topic they themselves would choose the previous week. One person would speak on the topic for fifteen minutes in English. They would have to stand and speak and there would be no allowance on the fifteen minutes criteria. Once the speech was delivered, the rest had to do a critique. They should not speak in any other language than English, once session was on.

The young men took up the challenge sportingly. The improvement was clearly visible as time progressed.

After a while the sessions could not be continued.

One day, I and my wife were strolling on the road adjacent to the Secretariat. We saw someone riding pillion on a Scooter and waving.  They stopped the Scooter. It was one of the participants in our sessions along with his mother. As we stood there waiting both of them ran back to reach us. The youngster introduced us to his mother and said, ”Amma, these are the people who have made me what I am.”

We felt fulfilled.

I narrated the story solely to suggest we can extend the activity anywhere.. The participants would be better off if we do this. If feasible, the modality could be worked out. My only suggestion is the sessions should be confined to one hour with groups of ten students each, once or twice a week, monitored by  those who are well conversant in English.

I remember the words of the CSI Moderator while attending a Governing Council meeting of the KUT Seminary, Kannammoola, Thiruvananthapuram, “The graduates from KUTS should have the ability to lead Worship in English and deliver messages in English, just as they develop the proficiency in Malayalam or their mother tongue.”

DELIVERING UNDER PRESSURE

 

DELIVERING UNDER PRESSURE

 

Success and failure are very much dependent on the paradoxes of the mind.

 

There had been an experiment with two groups of people.

 

The first group was given a task to find a solution to a problem. They were given sufficient time to deliberate. They were not saddled with anything else or any distraction during the period.

 

Though they had finally submitted their solution, it was found to be wrong.

 

The second group was given the same task. However the group was saddled with distractions during the whole period. They did not have any free moment to think at all. They could not deliberate freely like the other group. They had the same time the other group had.

 

Finally when they came up with the solution it was found to be correct.

 

The findings were both emphatic and paradoxical. Those who had enough time failed in picking the right solution whereas the distractions had improved the performance of the second group manifold.

 

Thinking too much was the curse for the first group. Their conscious deliberations finally made them reach the wrong end.

 

For the second group the conscious mind was distracted. They were forced to rely on memory as they could not freely deliberate at all. It enabled the subconscious mind to come up with the right solution.

 

The author focuses on the penalty shootout in a football match. Unless the penalty taker could free his mind of emotions that swell within and could keep the mind blank the lonely walk from the middle of the ground to the penalty spot would play havoc with his chances to score.

 

My own experiences reveal the same. When I had to write an examination or face an interview, it was imperative I had to prepare well to succeed. However I did not succeed whenever I had failed to keep my mind blank for a short while   preceding the examination or the interview.

I had seen my son succeeding in his attempts when he had adopted the tactic.

 

Courtesy THE GREATEST, Matthew Syed

 

RT.REV.DR. OOMMEN GEORGE BISHOP CSI KOLLAM KOTTARAKKARA DIOCESE KERALA INDIA

 

KERALA UNITED THEOLOGICAL SEMINARY

KANNAMMOOLA THIRUVANANTHAPURAM

CONVOCATION ON 8 JANUARY 2021

EXCERPTS FROM THE ADDRESS

BY RT.REV.DR. OOMMEN GEORGE BISHOP CSI KOLLAM KOTTARAKKARA DIOCESE

 

The Bishop spoke from his heart. Quite unlike many others he was not reading out a prepared script. It was captivating.   A rambling exhortation – Chaucer style. It went on and on for one hour and fifteen minutes. The audience listened intently. It was an exhortation to the students who were passing out. An exhortation to grow into missionaries of Jesus Christ for life, discover themselves and realize their potential. It was indeed an explosive yet intensive lecture for the students in their final hour at KUTS.

 

He told them bluntly what they should be and what they should not be.  He told them where they should be. He told them how they should face the world. He called upon them to serve. He told them to expect nothing in return when they go out to serve. He told them not to crave for recognition, riches or position. He assured God would look after them. He reminded that life at the Parishes would be far too different from the life at the Seminary .  He envisaged a scenario where they would have an Ammachi – a grand mother  –  sitting in front who would nod vigorously as they hand out or read out  Greek words   and high sounding ideals  peppering  their sermons. He said the Ammachi would go away muttering to herself the Achen was not fit for the Parish. The response would be no different with the Achayan – the modern man -  in full suit.. The message he had conveyed was that the sermons had to reach the audience.  The sermons had to come from deep within their hearts. He exhorted them to stay relevant in their sermons.

 

He said God had chosen them like He had chosen Moses to lead the Israelites. When Moses had expressed misgivings as had a stammer, God gave him Aaron. God entrusted the Ten Commandments solely to Moses to be passed on to the Israelite.

 

 The Bishop had begun sedately. He revealed how he came out from an income tax payees’ role to priesthood. The journey had begun in 1989 when he took admission at the KUTS. Prior to that he had attended a meeting at Coimbatore where he along with his wife had chosen the arduous path.

 

The Bishop’s father had been an evangelist who had lived on to the age of 100. ( A pious man who had once visited my house in the 1980s  when he was in Trivandrum on a Jail Mission. He had no demands.)

 

The Bishop said when he had conveyed his intention to become a priest and serve in the Lord’s vineyard, his father had asked him to choose the life of an evangelist instead. His mother who had been a teacher had told him she had suffered a lot in looking after the family when his father had been on the evangelistic drive. She did not want him to walk into a life of suffering. The mother had passed away at the age of 75, a year after Oommen George entered KUTS.

 

ILLUSORY SUPERIORITY

 

ILLUSORY SUPERIORITY

Many of us think we are better than we are. It is very difficult to accept someone else is better than us. The phenomenon is termed illusory superiority. The super intelligent too are susceptible to it.

When you work in transient positions, you are shifted to locations far and near in frequent intervals.  Wherever you are there would be the subordinates who remain, where they join,  till retirement.

As time wears on, they assume they alone know everything. The illusory superiority they evince gets the better of you. You start craving for appreciation from them for whatever you do even though you are the boss. You go wrong here. You are in charge.  You have to run the show.  The mandate you have is from your superiors. You have to derive appreciation from them for your performance.

If you wish to succeed never stack your subordinates with an illusory superiority alien to them. The balance is delicate. There are areas where they are much better off. Seek from them wherever they are ahead. Never play spoilsport letting your ego saddle you with an illusory superiority over the rest.

The phenomenon of illusory superiority is not by any means bad. When we rate ourselves highly we tend to become more positive, optimistic and resilient.  But when we are set aside or overlooked in a competition or in the selection for a placement, it leads to a sense of injustice that can be destructive.

Condition your mind to accept you were rejected not because the boss or the selector was a raving lunatic, but because you were not good enough.

The realization is the impetus for your own improvement.

The Greatest, Matthew Syed