WHEN TWO PEOPLE BECOME ONE

 

WHEN TWO PEOPLE BECOME ONE

It was on 29^th December 1977 we became one.

It was purely an arranged marriage.

She was the first girl I met. Her smile captured me. There was simplicity in her. There was honesty in her.  When we met I told her our family was transiting through severe constraints. I made it plain it would be quite a difficult proposition if she chose to live with me. I said that because I could see she had grown up in the city. Thalavady was a hell hole at that point. Though much has changed since then the divide still persists even today.  And there was a critically ill mother at home. I felt, I shouldn’t bring a girl to my home without revealing to her in advance what she was going to step into.

It began on a Saturday in September 1977. I was working at Mavelikara. Saturday was a half day for us at the office. And I used to have a late lunch at home on all Saturdays. While I was finishing my lunch five visitors arrived. it was around 4.30 in the evening. Their intention was to propose an alliance. They seemed good people. We conversed for some time. As they left they sought my photo. I knew I didn’t have that. Yet we searched. Fortunately we could fish out one from a storage cabinet. That was the only one we had at home.

I didn’t know they had handed over a photo of the girl to Mummy. After they left, Leela was telling me, “Thommante Thommi kollaaam.” Leela at that time used to call me Thomman at times. And Mummy told me she had seen the girl’s mother when she was a young girl and that she had looked pretty at that time.

The next day we took Mummy to MCH Kottayam. She was admitted there. Leela and I returned to Thalavady. She had to attend her classes at Mavelikara. BEd. I had to attend my office. However when it was around 11.30am I had a call. Mummy had to be transferred to CMC Vellore. 

Well, it took us all to Vellore. Mummy was operated upon. Glioblastoma. We both returned to Thalavady after that. While I had been going ahead with my work, the bank deputed me to their Trivandrum Statue Branch.  The branch manager there had been aware of the marriage proposal. He knew the people well. He said he would take me to meet the family and the girl. I quietly told him there was no need for hurrying it. I said, let the parents meet the girl first – the tradition at that time. Papa later wrote to me, as I was in Trivandrum, it would be good if I could meet the girl and her family. I conveyed to him my response to the branch manager.

By the grace of God Mummy had recovered – not 100 per cent - after the treatment at CMC Vellore. They were back at Thalavady.

On a Saturday after that, the father and the brother in law of the girl visited us. They said they wished to go ahead with the proposal. Papa, soon after, visited Trivandrum.

It led us to meet on 20th November 1977.

The wedding took place on 29^th December 1977.

During the gap we had conversed through post. It was the closest to dating those days.

Marriage underlined that what mattered most to us was our commitment to each other, not mere labels. We understood that people talking about us was part and parcel of our lives. When we met for the first time, my initial impression was, she was really beautiful. As companions, we had always been on the same page. We have seen each other through difficult times. As she was employed, she too had made it clear she had no time to fool around.

When two people become one, we learned that it was exactly the profound confluence of two eternal ideals. We could see that it was the reflection of the inner strength and spiritual depth anchored within ourselves. We saw marriage embodied righteousness, compassion and moral courage. We could see that it signified the harmony between inner power and empathy. We discovered that we were led by divine protection. The realization invariably equipped us with resilience. We knew, together, we could face anything and everything with grace, unwavering strength and courage.

We were both very independent when it came to our work. But if we needed each other’s opinion, both of us were willing to key in our inputs.

We understood each other well.

It was love at first sight when we met each other. Our idea of a good time was going on long drives, whenever we could and spend time talking to each other.

While I would state, ‘It’s like a free therapy session. As she likes driving, I don’t even have to do that.”

The astonishingly sweet response had been, ‘“He’s my passenger king.”

Our love story is far better in real life. For me, it is very romantic to wake up with a woman this beautiful every day. Relationships are marked by romance, intent and friendship. We are happy the relationship is settled and anchored in the best way. I am happy I have been chosen by a wonderful woman, who is brilliant, beautiful and kind.

She just couldn’t believe when I told her soon after the marriage, “When I was young, I used to see these beautiful girls and I would wonder, ‘Oh, my God, who are the kind of men these women get hitched to? And I eventually ended up marrying a beautiful girl.”

Her response was, “When we started talking, there was an instant connection. I saw a kind of hard work, dedication and determination in you. They attracted me to you. The looks were a cherry on the top.”

She had gone on, “I have you to run to with all my problems. You bind me, keep me together. The life we have together is the best gift we have given each other.”

I admit to the people I meet, “Seeing her commitment and watching how she is flourishing, I went on encouraging her.”

And I add, “I’m an extreme introvert. She’s my liaison with the outside world. She coordinates my travel and everything. She’s my one point stop for everything. I am completely dependent on her.”

We have travelled. We have spent our time together at the beach or scenic locations or wherever we wished to be.

Ever since we had come together we had been sharing everything we were going through.  We never hesitated to make fun of each other either. We had worked around whatever free time we had without rushing into anything. We knew, as a couple, it was important to give time to each other. To make that happen, we would sit across each other making eye contact.

We would talk.

I know she has a way with words. She is diplomatic and sweet, while I am to the point and straightforward. She has a sense of humor.  I have constantly observed, she is the softer touch in my life.

She has built her reputation on her own capabilities. I have nothing to do with that. I compliment her in whatever she does. We make it a point to say ’I love you’ to each other as often as possible. Everyone always says that opposites attract. But as far as we are concerned we know we are complementing each other.

She tells me I am overly analytical whereas she affirms she has a free spirit. She considers me intense and feels that I am wearing my heart on my sleeve.

She had revealed to me a few days after our wedding that she had gravitated towards me because she trusted me and I in turn had trusted her.

We would like to place on record our view of life. .

Life is full of chores. Love can’t be one of them. .Love is not mundane. For both of us, the partner is the person we wish to gossip with at the end of the day. Our partnership is so strong, the companion is the first person we share things with, good or bad. We didn’t fall in love to impress anyone. We chose each other. Honesty is the base of our life. We are happy to confirm that the ease of being around someone is the best leisure. When you are free with each other everything becomes easier. Having each other by the side is the favorite part of everyday life.

It is said home is where the heart is.

We chose mutually to settle at our place we call home.

We’ll not swap it for anything else.

…………………………………….

 

I’ll have to acknowledge that this write up has been inspired by the life of four well known couples articulated so well in the supplements of The Times of India of February 14 &15, 2026. I have drawn from them in part.

As I respect their privacy, I refrain from revealing their names.