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Monday, April 27, 2026

BOUNCER

 


                                                         Someone forwarded                                                                                                      

                           

                                                         Instead of, "I am the door," many churches think that 
                                                   Jesus said, "I am the bouncer"!  

                                                   And I replied

                                                   They take cognisance of what Jesus did at Jerusalem Temple.

                                                   But they don't take cognisance of the cross that ensued.

                                                   Perhaps they are the ones Jesus had trounced from 
                                                   the temple.

                                                   And they masquerade as Jesus to vanquish the true followers 
                                                   of Jesus from the Churches built in the name of Jesus 
                                                   once and for all.

                                                   A risen Jesus is no longer for them

SIDNEI FRESH HOMEMADE CAKES

                                   Evana's Birthday was on the 23rd April. Thursday. 

We celebrated it today on the 25th April as it  is the fourth Saturday where everyone could join.

The Birthday cake was prepared by Indu, Kaudiar, Trivandrum

It was fantastic.

Placing its picture here

Indu is an Engineer. 
She stayed at Karakulam.
Later she shifted to Kaudiar. 
Left her job when she had twins.
She launched herself  into full time cake business



                                                        SIDNEI

                                     FRESH HOMEMADE CAKES

                                                   8590246652

                                                   9778253475

                                                               

                                                             



 

MALAYALA MANORAMA and A WALK THROUGH THE RAIN

 

                                                                   Malayala Manorama 

                                                                   Sunday supplement

                                                                     26 April 2026


                                                                       List of books


                                                                             See                            


                                                       A WALK THROUGH THE RAIN       

                                                                     second on the list

                                                           



BIRTHDAY GIRL 8 YEARS AND HER BROTHER

                                                                           Birthday Girl

                                                                              8 years 


                                                                                      


                                                                                

                                                                                   


                                                                          

                                                                                   


                                                                                  



                                                                                 



                                                                                   


 

                                                                   

 
                                                           

                               

                                                                        

SAVINGS ARE NOT FOR AFTERLIFE //SPEND YOU MUST

 This is a WhatsApp forward I received.
Because it make sense I am placing it here.
I do not know who authored it

Why Indian Retirees Can’t Spend the Money They Sacrificed Their Lives to Save

Mr Sharma (a pseudonym for perhaps your father, uncle, or neighbour) is a success story of the great Indian middle-class dream.

He grew up in an India of scarcity—ration cards, waiting years for a telephone connection, and job security being the ultimate prize. For 40 years, he worked tirelessly in a PSU or a corporate job. He walked to the bus stop to save the autorickshaw fare. He wore shirts until the collars frayed. He sacrificed vacations to pay for IIT coaching and his children’s grand weddings.

Today, at 68, Mr. Sharma is sitting on a paid-off house in a decent locality and a retirement corpus of over ₹3 Crores in FDs, PPF, and mutual funds.

He has won the game. He is financially free.

Yet, last night in the peak of May summer heat, Mr. Sharma woke up sweating because he switched off the AC after running it for exactly one hour. Why waste electricity? he murmured.

This is the tragedy of the modern Indian retiree. They are asset-rich, cash-rich, but lifestyle-poor.

They are suffering from what financial psychologists call The Switch Failure (Inability to spend).

The Psychology of the Eternal Saver

For four decades, the switch in their brain was welded tight to the SAVE position. Every financial decision was filtered through the lens of accumulation. Saving wasn’t just a habit; it was a survival mechanism against an uncertain future in a developing economy.

Then, on the day of retirement, they are suddenly told to flip that switch to SPEND.

They physically cannot do it.

The neural pathways built over 40 years of frugality are too strong. To a lifelong saver, spending money—specifically, decumulating their hard-earned principal—registers in the brain almost like physical pain or moral failure.

They feel they are chopping down the tree they spent their whole life watering.

Symptoms of The Switch Failure in India

You see this manifested in countless Indian households where the parents have more than enough money, yet live in self-imposed austerity:

The FD Interest Trap: They will only spend the interest earned from Fixed Deposits. Touching the principal amount feels like committing a sin. As inflation rises and interest rates fluctuate, their lifestyle shrinks, even though the principal remains untouched.

The Medical Delay: They will have crores in the bank, but will delay a necessary knee replacement surgery or cataract operation for years because it costs too much right now.

The Travel Paradox: At 70 years old, with bad backs, they still book Sleeper Class train tickets for overnight journeys instead of a comfortable 2AC or a flight, simply because the train gets us there too.

The Inheritance Burden: A uniquely Indian pressure is the deep-seated belief that the entire corpus must be preserved for the children. They live like paupers so their 45-year-old, well-settled children can inherit a massive fortune later. "Why Indian Retirees Can’t Spend the Money They Sacrificed Their Lives to Save"

The Great Fear: What if I live too long?

The engine driving this inability to spend is a deep, primal fear of running out of money.

Indian retirees have seen inflation destroy the value of the Rupee over decades. They don’t trust that ₹3 Crores today will be enough 20 years from now when a hospital room might cost ₹50,000 a night.

So, they create a hyper-conservative buffer. They prepare for the absolute worst-case scenario (living to 105 with major medical needs), and in doing so, they completely miss out on the best-case scenario—enjoying the healthy years they have left.

The Final Destination: The Richest Corpse.

The tragic outcome of The Switch Failure is a life unlived.

They sacrificed their 30s, 40s, and 50s for a someday of comfort. But when the day arrives, they are too psychologically damaged by years of scarcity to embrace it.

They become the richest people in the graveyard. They leave behind massive bank balances, perfectly preserved houses, and unspent lockers full of gold jewellery. Their children inherit wealth they often don’t urgently need, while the parents die with regrets of trips not taken, comforts not bought, and generosity not shared.

If you, or your parents, are stuck in this trap, logic won’t fix it. Emotional re-framing is needed.

The Permission to Spend Fund

Create a separate bank account funded by a small portion of the corpus. The rule for this account is simple: This money must be wasted. It cannot be saved, invested, or given to kids. It must be spent on frivolous joy—a luxury hotel stay, a new car, a hobby. If it isn’t spent by the end of the year, it’s donated.

The Bucket Strategy

Divide the wealth. Bucket A is untouchable survival money for medical needs and basic living until age 85/90. Bucket B is lifestyle money. Once Bucket A is secure, the brain relaxes, making it easier to spend from Bucket B without the panic of running out.

Shift the Inheritance perspective

The greatest gift a parent can give adult children isn’t a massive inheritance when the children are already 50 years old. The greatest gift is being happy, healthy, and financially independent parents who enjoy their own lives. Your children want to see you spend your money on you.

The Bottom Line:

Money is stored energy. You spent your life accumulating this energy. If you don’t release it in the form of joy, comfort, and experiences while you are alive, that energy goes to waste.

You didn’t work for 40 years just to be the wealthiest patient in the hospital ward. Flip the switch. Buy the ticket. Turn on the AC. You earned it.

Friday, April 24, 2026

THE ELDERLY

 


The elderly today are not just focussed on survival, they are focussed on maintaining independence and quality  of life. 

The biggest concern is overall fitness.

Mobility is crucial.

Even if someone gains six months to a year of independent mobile life, it makes a huge difference to their dignity and well being.

Thursday, April 23, 2026

SIDESTEP

 


Adam Grant 

Think Again

In a heated argument, you can always stop and ask, "What evidence would change your mind? 

If the answer is "nothing", there is no point in continuing the debate. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it think.

When someone is losing control, your tranquility is a sign of strength. The more anger and hostility the other person expresses, it ought to evoke  more curiosity and interest in you.

It takes the wind out of the emotional  sails of the one who loses control. It's pretty rare for someone to respond by screaming "SCREAMING IS MY PREFERRED MODE OF COMMUNICATION!"

When someone becomes hostile, if you respond by viewing the argument as a war, you can either attack or retreat. 

If instead you treat it as a dance, you have another option - you can sidestep. 

Having a conversation about the conversation shifts the attention away from the substance of the disagreement and towards the process for having a dialogue

Wednesday, April 22, 2026

ARE YOU PLANNING TO ATTEND?

 


Though a basketball team had a big support base, the supporters never bothered to attend their games. In order to  motivate the fans to attend the games of the team, they thought the most persuasive message would come from the team itself.

Emails were sent to the fans with quotes from players and coaches about how part of the home crowd advantage stems from the energy of a packed house of cheering fans. 

It had no effect. The attendance was dismal.

Then they changed the track. 

Emails were sent with just one question.

"Are you planning to attend?"

The attendance climbed to 85 percent.

The question had given the fans freedom to make their own case for going.

The rationale is, psychologists have long found that the person most likely to persuade you to change your mind is you. 

You get to pick the reasons you find most compelling and you come away with a real sense of ownership over them.

We don't have to convince them we are right. We just need to open their minds to the possibility that they might be wrong. 

Their natural curiosity would do the rest

Adam Grant

THINK AGAIN

Tuesday, April 21, 2026

BALANCE EACH OTHER

 


I know he knows the world. 

And he knows I know my world.

We balance each other.

He's my emotional pillar.

And to him I'm his emotional pillar.

We hit it off 

Really well

Saturday, April 18, 2026

Everyone wants America to go broke

 

Rashmee Roshan Lall writes in The Times of India of 18th April 2026

European Leaders may be uncomfortable with Trump's Iran war but won't dare criticize him. For, US remains the guarantor of western security

It reminded me of my response to a WhatsApp post forwarded by an acquaintance that prophesied imminent disaster for America.

The response is here and the WhatsApp post is afterwards

Everyone wants America to go broke.

It was because of them World Wars 1 & 2 were not lost to the marauding Germans and their allies. Continent far away, they could have remained where they were and enjoyed the fierce battles that went on in Europe and elsewhere.

If they were not there the Soviets would have taken over the rest of the world.

They are the last hope for freedom of the individual in the world

Of course, they are imperfect. That they show off as well.

Americans were scared stiff when the twin towers were destroyed. 

They won't let anyone to build capabilities for an encore nor detonate a nuclear device in their domain.

Question is do we want freedom as it is in China or other autocratic countries.

But people will be happy when a megalith falters and falls. They dream of such a day.

But after that what, they don't ever think

WhatsApp post

The End of America ?

The Strait of Hormuz may be the end of America.

Professor Ray Dalio, a researcher in the history of empires over 500 years and a manager of billions of dollars, published an article in which he said:
One sentence in it summarizes everything:
“Losing control of the Strait of Hormuz may be, for America, like Britain losing control of the Suez Canal in 1956.”
Before you understand this sentence, we must talk about the year 1956.
Because what happened in 1956 may be repeated today.

1956: The End of Britain
For 200 years, Britain was the superpower of the world.
The British pound was the world’s currency, and its navy controlled the oceans.
The most important point of its power: the Suez Canal.
A large portion of global trade passes through this canal. Whoever controls the canal controls global trade.
In 1956, Egypt nationalized the canal. They said: “It is ours now.”
Britain threatened: “Open the canal or we will come.”
Egypt did not open the canal.
Britain, along with France and Israel, launched an attack.
But what happened, happened.
America said: “Enough.”
The Soviets said: “Enough.”
The United Nations said: “Enough.”
Britain was forced to retreat.
On that day, the world saw something:
Britain was no longer a superpower.
What happened after that?
The British pound collapsed.
Allies distanced themselves.
Colonies began declaring independence.
Capital fled from Britain.
Within twenty years, Britain became an ordinary country.
An empire that lasted 200 years ended because of one canal.
It was not just a canal — it ended because of one perception:
“This country is no longer strong.”
The moment this perception took hold, money fled, allies withdrew, and the system collapsed.
Dalio says: the same thing may happen to America now.

Why is the Strait of Hormuz so important?
20% of global oil supplies pass through this strait.
Saudi oil comes through it.
UAE oil comes through it.
Kuwait oil comes through it.
Iraq oil comes through it.
What happens if the strait is closed?
Oil prices will rise.
The global economy will stop.
Gulf countries will be unable to export.
Europe will face an energy crisis.
Asian factories will shut down.
Imagine it like this:
There is only one tunnel on a highway.
All trucks pass through it — food, fuel, raw materials, everything.
Someone sits at the entrance of the tunnel and says:
“No one passes without my permission.”
This is what Iran is doing now.
Dalio says: if America cannot open this tunnel, everything will change.

Dalio’s Historical Equation
Dalio studied 500 years of history.
He examined the rise and fall of every great empire.
He found a pattern.
The pattern is: things always end the same way.
A superpower controls global money, controls sea routes, and everyone trusts it.
Then a smaller power challenges it on a vital trade route.
The superpower threatens:
“Open the seas or I will invade.”
The whole world watches.
If the superpower opens the route →
its power is reinforced, trust continues, money flows, and the system continues.
If it fails →
everything turns upside down.
Trust collapses.
Allies withdraw.
Money flees.
A debt crisis begins.
The empire collapses.
This is how Portugal ended.
This is how the Netherlands ended.
This is how Britain ended.
Dalio says:
“When great powers sink into debt and show loss of military and financial control, watch how they lose the trust of allies and creditors, lose reserve currency status, and their currency weakens — especially against gold.”
Read that sentence again.
Now look at America.

America’s Situation
Debt: $38 trillion.
Interest payments: more than $1 trillion annually.
A quarter of tax revenue goes to interest.
It lost in Vietnam.
Withdrew from Afghanistan.
Spent 20 years in Iraq, leaving chaos behind.
The world now believes America is no longer strong.
Now it is confronting Iran.

What did Trump say?
“If they plant mines and they are not removed immediately, the military consequences will be unprecedented.”

What does Dalio say?
“I often hear senior politicians in other countries say privately:
‘Trump speaks fluently, but when things get tough, can he fight and win?’”

The Critical Point
Dalio’s most important observation:
In war, your ability to endure pain is more important than your ability to inflict pain.

What are the Iranians doing?
They are trying to prolong the war.
They are escalating it gradually.
Because everyone knows the American public and leadership have limited tolerance for prolonged pain and war.
Iran’s plan is simple:
Make the war long and painful enough — America will withdraw.
This is what happened in Vietnam.
This is what happened in Afghanistan.
For Iran, this war is existential.
It is about revenge.
It is about honor.
They are fighting for something more important than life itself.
What concerns Americans?
Fuel prices.
Midterm elections.
This imbalance terrifies Dalio.

Is a deal possible?
Dalio’s answer is clear: No.
“Everyone knows that not reaching a deal will not resolve this war.”

What comes next?
Whether Hormuz remains under Iranian control or is taken from it,
the coming period will be the worst phase of the conflict.
Iran’s statement:
“All oil, economic, and energy facilities in the region belonging to or cooperating with the United States will be destroyed immediately and turned to ashes.”
This final war is approaching.

Dalio says the outcome of this war will reshape history.
It will not be limited to the Middle East.
Trade flows will change.
Capital flows will change.
China, Russia, North Korea, Europe, India, and Japan will all be affected.

If America wins:
Trust in the dollar will increase.
Demand for bonds will rise.
Allies will align closer.
Trump’s authority will strengthen.
American dominance will continue.

If America loses:
The dollar will collapse.
Bonds will be sold off.
Gold will surge dramatically.
Alliances will weaken.
BRICS will strengthen.
China’s rise will accelerate.

Dalio’s lesson from 500 years of history:
Money and power always flow to the winner —
and flee from the loser.

Conclusion
Dalio says clearly:
The Strait of Hormuz is America’s final test.
If it wins →
its dominance continues, Trump’s power increases, the dollar rises.
If it loses →
the 1956 Britain scenario begins.
The dollar collapses.
Gold skyrockets.
Alliances fragment.
The American era ends.

Five hundred years of history tell the same story:
Empires end when they lose vital trade routes.
Portugal ended.
The Netherlands ended.
Britain ended.
Is it America’s turn?
The answer lies in Hormuz.


DILEEP'S DILEMMA



The single management high school in the outskirts of the city had been producing excellent results at the SSLC examination for the past fifteen years. It had  dedicated teachers who toiled hard to bring out the best from the students. Leading them from the front was the manager, Dileep K S. 

Just as the school was single management, Dileep too was single. He was wedded to his own school.

He stayed in a studio apartment at the top floor of the school building. He was non vegetarian. He had a cook who prepared delicious food for him. The cook did the cleaning afterwards as well. 

Dileep ran into a problem once.

He had to visit a Dentist when he suffered a severe tooth ache. The Doctor found that a tooth had to be extracted as it was beyond conservation.

Dileep consented. The tooth was extracted.

The Doctor told him he should forgo dinner that night. He could take cold tea and hot tea was proscribed.  Dileep said he could go on without dinner. But he wanted to know whether he could consume liquor - Rum, Whisky or Wine.

The doctor sympathized with him, but he was firm - no alcohol that night.

It was the worst night for Dileep in his whole life. 


THE MOLAR OR GRINDER TOOTH EXTRACTED


Dr. Suresh Kumar J, MDS had his dental clinic at Kallissery, close to Chengannur. He had a flourishing practice as he was fairly experienced. As luck was in his favour, he had been the lone dental surgeon at Kallissery. 

Dr. Suresh, as he was known, would open his clinic at 9.00 am everyday. There was a 3 hour break at noon from 12.00 noon to 3 pm. Then it was non stop practice from 3.00pm to 8.00 pm. As he thoroughly enjoyed what he was doing he never had employed another doctor. Of course, there were two dental technicians to assist him.

One evening, as he was winding up the practice at 8.00 pm after a heavy day, his neighbour and the local Post Master,  Sivaraman Nair had rushed in. He wanted the molar or grinder tooth extracted. The tooth with a gaping cavity had been giving him sleepless nights for almost a fortnight. The pain it subjected him to was excruciating.

Dr.Suresh was tired to the hilt. All he wanted was to step into his house behind the clinic and a hot tea. He explained to  Sivaraman Nair his predicament. He thought his friend would understand what he said as his son and daughter in law - both of them Surgeons in the Taluk Hospital - were staying with him.

No. Sivaraman Nair would not relent an inch. The good doctor did not wish to antagonize the long-standing friendship. 

Dr. Suresh said he would extract the tooth and queried Sivaraman Nair whether he was taking any medicine. Negative was the reply.

Perfection was the hallmark of Dr. Suresh and it had adhered whoever he met to him.

The tooth came off. Sivaraman Nair went home in the happiest frame of mind. He was sanguine he could have a sound sleep that night.

It was late night. The time was 1.00 am. 

Dr.Suresh was fast asleep after the hectic day in the Clinic.

The phone rang. It was Sivaraman Nair.

He was frantic. He said, "Doctor, there is heavy bleeding. I had forgotten to tell you I'm on Ecosprin for quite sometime now."

Dr.Suresh didn't know what went through his mind woken up at that hour with this piece of critical information that had been held back.

Anger swelled in his mind, 

But Dr.Suresh being the Dr.Suresh he was, kept his cool.

He advised Sivaraman Nair to consult at once his son or  daughter in law who were at home for an immediate remedy.


AN ADMIRER WRITES ON THE INTERVIEW IN DHARSANAM 2026


 Good morning and Congratulations Sir… 

The way you have presented your thoughts are very inspiring and impressive… Our outlook of life starts with our childhood days & for you ….grown  up in a serene place itself has deeply influenced you… and later of course your    Journey of life opened doors for expression of your thoughts…

 I really want to read your book.. “A Walk Through the Rain “ …. I would like to know from where will I get your book? Thank you so much for remembering me and sharing this with me. How is  ma’am doing?  Convey my special regards to her… 

May God bless both of you abundantly!!!! 


R VAISHALI WINS CANDIDATES AT CYPRRUS

 


24 year old R. Vaishali won the Candidates tournament in Chess at Cyprus to challenge the current world champion in the championship match 2026.

She is the elder sister of R. Praggnanandhaa.

Rameshbabu Praggnanandha (born on 10 August 2005) is an Indian chess grandmaster. A chess prodigy, he was  placed second in the 2023 Chess World Cup, and won the 2025 FIDE Circuit. He was part of the Indian team that won the silver medal at the 2022 Asian Games in the men's team competition, and the gold medal in the open section at the 45th Chess Olympiad in 2024. He had won the Tata Steel Chess Tournament 2025

 R Vaishali (Rameshbabu Vaishali) is the elder sister of R Praggnanandhaa. Born on June 21, 2001, she is a Grandmaster and had  recently won the 2026 FIDE Women’s Candidates Tournament. They are recognized as the world's first-ever brother-sister Grandmaster pair.

Her father says, "In these 20 years, she has put in a lot of effort and struggled a lot, so it has finally come to fruition. I tell her: if you work hard you will always get results. I'm feeling very happy and proud."

Interesting factor is, her mother Nagalakshmi had diverted her to chess to keep her away from the smartphone and the social media when she was a child.

Nagalakshmi knows no Chess. 

She prepares excellent Rasam.

She accompanies her children and takes care of what they eat.

She is the greatest support to both the Chess Grandmasters .


JOB BECOMES JOYFUL

 


The job you are on 

becomes a joyful exercise 

when it resonates

with your attitude to life. 


For that, you need to be led  

by passion and purpose.

Friday, April 17, 2026

GHASTLY ACCIDENT AND ITS AFTERMATH


It's the University exam time at the KUTS. 

Mohanan ensures that blank answer sheets are supplied to the examinees well in time. His conscientiousness makes him arrive at KUTS sufficiently early.

He was busy on his job.

His phone rings. Someone at the other end tells him his son has been injured badly in a bike accident. Mohanan was shocked.

He literally ran to the Principal's quarters and had apprised the Principal of the mishap.

The Principal asked him to proceed at once to the hospital and gave him some cash.

At the Hospital Mohanan learned what went wrong.

His son was riding his bike to supply newspapers at the houses in the locality for an agent. His friend was riding pillion to help him finish the job fast. The boys were not wearing helmets as they were on the village road. Mohanan's son was riding at 30kmph.

As he turned a curve  a dog suddenly ran across. He swerved not to hit the dog. But there was an elderly man on the left on the shoulder of the road. He swerved again to save the gentleman.. He had the pillion rider to think of as well. The boy was perplexed. He lost control as he found the front wheel was skidding. The bike went straight. It stopped after the front wheel had dashed against a tree It was a mess. Mohanan's son fell on the road. The motion dragged him. There was profuse bleeding from an ear. Fortunately the pillion rider did not suffer any injury. The dog was saved. The elderly gentle man was saved. The pillion rider was saved.

The boy was immediately taken to an adjacent private hospital.. On examination they observed that the ear was torn and it required suturing, The Doctor in charge told them that they were not equipped to meet an emergency like this. They were advised to transfer the patient to a better equipped hospital.

As it was a holiday on that 15th - it was Vishu - most of the hospitals were understaffed.

Finally, after deliberations, they decided to shift the patient to NIMS Hospital, Neyyattinkara. The hospital authorities admitted the patient and advised them to wait. They had to ring up the surgeon and request him to come on the holiday to attend to the patient.

The good doctor arrived quick. He sutured the the torn ear back into place.

Once the procedure was over, the patient was discharged.

Mohanan ended up paying the Hospital bill of Rs.23000.00.

But it was a big relief that after meeting with such a ghastly accident, the boy came out of it with a minor injury.

The Bike bore it all

The Bike would need a princely sum to get back into shape.. 

Divya goes to cast her vote

 


Divya is  CONGRESS I

Sarat her husband is  CPM


Divya  goes to cast her vote at 5pm at Pettah on 9th April 2026

She was told her vote had  already been cast by someone

She started shouting. She said the vote was her right.

She said she won't leave without voting or exercising her franchise

Then they gave her a paper to sign and allowed her to vote

Hearing this Reena said Susan's vote could have been cast like this. 

Susan is away at Kattappana.

It was difficult for her to return on the 9th to participate in the election process.

Question remains.

Had Susan's vote  been cast?




WHERE IS KERALAM HEADED?


Words fail me.

Channel  after Channel (Malayalam) revel in showing off the murder in the open of a young man.

His crime?

He tried to dissuade two groups from a fight in the bar. He dared to interfere where no one bothered to pacify the warring groups.

Result?

The poor man was murdered in the open. He was hit, He was kicked. There he lay on the road helpless. The murderers did not relent. His ribs were broken. He was smothered. 

On lookers stood there watching the sordid drama. They went on capturing everything on the phone. 

The Channels had their bite.

The murder went live across the state, the nation and the world.

A young child lost its father. A young wife lost her husband. A mother lost her son.

Why can't the Channels desist from telecasting the horror.

No they won't ever.

We have become a tribe that derives pleasure from watching without flinching the murder of a fellow human being in real time as long as we are not directly a part of it.


PARENTS, MIND YOUR PHONE USE

 

Sneha Bhura writes in The Times of India of 14th April 2026.

Parents, mind your phone use, or your rules for Kids won't matter

The writer continues:

Moms and Dads worry about Digital Addiction. But often overlook their own Roles as First Role Models

Highlights:

Twenty years ago, parenting meant chasing scraped knees and bedtime stories. Today, it is negotiating screen curfews between back to back videocalls. Parents have to juggle Zoom meetings and fight their own urge even as they exhort their kids to 'look up,'

For a parent, in a real story, mindless scrolling was a reflex reaction. She had entered the social media as her neighbours and contacts had considered her too traditional since she was inactive on social media. When her daughter was in Class 10, she advised her to quit social media. However, she understood she should not stay on in social media if she were to suggest that to her daughter.

She calls it social modelling.

The whole family stayed off social media and had shifted their news habits to television. They began watching the TV news together instead of scrolling. While phones keep everyone updated individually, the time spent together watching  TV allowed them to discuss among themselves and gravitate to what was happening around the world.

A study reveals, Indian parents spend over 5 hours daily on smartphones while children spend over 4 hours. The children have identified excessive usage of smartphones as source of conflict between them and their parents.

Delhi based clinical psychologist Rachna K Singh expresses her views:

"When parents frequently check phones during meals or keep them close while unwinding, adolescents perceive it as the normal way to live. Research shows that over 70% of teenagers say they have seen their parents use devices during family time, which directly influences how they set their own boundaries."

We may listen  to another opinion as well:

"Parenting was different in the days before smartphone. If you were told not to do something beyond a certain time, it was at least partially respected. Today that's a very debatable topic."

How to transcend this downward spiral of distraction?

Your own hobbies can come to your rescue.

It's true, during Covid everything was online - Work calls, Zoom, Teams - while the Kids were in online classes. Covid Phase had shaped people's relationship with gadgets. Now, it's instant access to everything. Kids have too much, too easily. It's indeed bad they'll never know the sense of waiting or looking forward to things.

Scrolling has become a reflex reaction for almost everyone.

The cycle could be broken if you would rediscover your hobbies. Parents struggling with tech addiction must find an activity they love.  It would help children pull away from their gadgets if they pick up a hobby or sport.

When the parents go after their hobbies the children will never be far behind.


Tuesday, April 14, 2026

ABRAHAM EAPEN OF IVY LEAGUE ACADEMY AND A WALK THROUGH THE RAIN

 


 13/4/2026

Raju, or Abraham Eapen, my sister Leela's husband is a tough task master. He's the elder brother of Jose Paikad, a great educator.

Abraham Eapen is former Vice Principal, Ivy League Academy, Hyderabad - Secunderabad

It was with trepidation I had handed over a copy of my book A WALK THROUGH THE RAIN to him. 

But WATCH the conversation afterwards

16/03/2026 

Raju

I read the first 130 pages of the book. The chapters about Robin and Papa’s Hospital Episode were very touching. I liked it verymuch.Succeeded in conveying the emotions intended. Editing left much to be desired. Rest after completion of the book.

16/03/2026

Thank you for the comments.

On editing, I knew something was wrong after it was published.

What happened was, it was a rush job to beat the deadline. I couldn't have a look before it went to the press. I was away at Alapuzha. 

If at all a second edition comes out some of the glitches could be obviated, I believe.

17/03/2026

The chapters on” Kuzhappamilla” and "Back Bench Philosophy" are exactly the same thought I also have. The book cover is excellent! I finished reading it . You have enormous patience to take the pain to write so much . It is an effort worth applauding!

17/03/2026

Grateful for reading it in full.

And thanks for the compliments.

Creative writing is an area where you are compelled to express. 

The cover was designed by Bejoy B. A friend and well wisher.

All credit to him.

I consider the applause from you is worth the diamond standard.

Thank you once again

Sunday, April 12, 2026

HOW MICHELE HANSEN LANDED HER JOB

 

HOW MICHELE HANSEN LANDED HER JOB
Adam Grant elucidates in Think Again

In 2014, Michele Hansen came across a job opening for a product manager at an investment company. She was excited about the position. But she wasn't qualified for it. She had no background in finance and lacked the required number of years of experience.

Yet she applied for the the position. Rather than tryiing to hide her shortcomings, she began with them.

"I'm probably not the candidate you've been envisioning. I don't have a decade of experience as a Product Manager nor am I a Certified Financial Planner." 

Then she went on:

"But what I do have are skills that can't be taught. I take ownership of projects far beyond my pay grade and what is in my defined scope of responsibilities. I don't wait for people to tell me what to do and go seek for myself what needs to be done.  I invest myself deeply in my projects and it shows in everything I do, from my projects at work to my projects that I undertake on my own time at night. I'm entrpreneurial. I get things done. And I know I would make an excellent right hand for the co-founder leading this project. I love breaking new ground and starting witha blank slate.

(And any of my previous bosses would be able to attest to these traits.)"

Michele didn't preach her qualifications. She demonstrated she was self aware of her shortcomings and was secure enough to admit them.

A week later she had a phone interview that was followed by another. On the calls she asked about experiments they'd run recently that had surprised them.

Eventually, Michele got the job., thrived and was promoted to lead product development

This is not unique. 

People are more interested in hiring candidates who acknowledge weaknesses as opposed to bragging or humblebragging

SMARTPHONE MAKES YOU OLDER

 

Dr. Baby Chakrapani P S writes in The Times of India of 9th april 2026
Is your smartphone making you older?
Alarming link between Screen Addiction and Brain Aging

When you scroll before bed, the blue light emitted by your screen suppresses melantonin --    -- the hormone that signals the body to wind down. LED screens, which are present in every smartphone, tablet and laptop emit far higher  concentrations of short wavelength blue light than older light sources such as incandescent bulbs. While the scrolling feels like harmless entertainment, your body registers them as a health hazard. The more you scroll at night, the worse you sleep.

The damage runs deeper than a groggy morning, as blue light exposure can reduce dendritic spines -- the tiny protrusions on neurons where memories form and are stored.  Think of them as the branches on which your recollections grow. When these wither, so does your ability to learn and remember. There could be incidence of depression and cognitive decline as well.

When we repeatedly expose our brains to blue light during evolutionarily inappropriate hours, we create what researchers now describe as a state of chronic internal jet lag --and neural tissue pays the price.

It has been observed that more than four hours of daily use of a blue light device is associated with poorer sleep efficiency, greater daytime dysfunction and irregular sleep timing. Moreover, individuals who sleep fewer than six hours per night experience dramatically steeper decline in memory, executive function and attention. Sleep disorders due to late night scrolling induce physical inactivity that in turn cause the onset of dementia and hypertension.

Disruptions in sleep patterns disturb the delicate equilibrium of the gut microbiota, causing dysbiosis - alterations in microbial composition and function that cascade through body's most essential systems.

When your gut suffers, your emotional resilience suffers with it. 

The very device you reach for to relax may be quietly dismatling your mental resilience. The unbridled use of smartphones is, science suggests, a measure of a national health risk hiding in plain sight.

Smartphone addiction could be fought off with following steps.
1. No devices in the bedroom.
2. Morning light exposure.
3. Phone free walks.
4. Digital sabbaths
5. Dietary support.

The solution will come from reclaiming time for what the brain requires -- rest, real connection, and the natural rhythms that sustained human health for millenia.

Your phone is a tool. It was never designed to be a lifeline. And your brain -- that magnificent three pound universe inside your skull -- deserves better than to be collateral damage in the attention economy. 

So today, when you are tempted to scroll "just for a few minutes", ask youself: is this worth a night of disrupted sleep, a gut ecosystem thrown off balance, another morning of brain fog? Or is it time to let your body do what it has been quietly waiting to do -- heal?

The choice is yours.

PLIGHT OF THE PEOPLE PLEASER

 


PLIGHT OF THE PEOPLE PLEASER

Adam Grant  writes in  Think Again


As long as I can remember, I've been determined to keep the peace. May be it's genetic. May be it's because my parents got divorced. Whatever the cause, in Psychology there is a name for my affliction. 

It's called Agreeableness. 

It is one of the major personality traits around the world. 

Agreeable people tend to be nice, friendly, polite. 

My first impulse is to avoid even the most trivial of conflicts. When I am riding in an Uber and the air conditioning is blasting, I struggle to bring myself to ask the driver to turn it down ---I just sit there shivering in silence until my teeth start to chatter.

When someone steps on my shoe, I've actually apologised for inconveniently leaving my foot in his path. When students fill out course evaluation, one of their most common complaints is that I'm "too supportive of stupid comments."

My answer to the question, "Why I avoid conflict," is :

1.It saves time.
2. It might save the friendship
3. It might not help to argue.
4. I don't want anyone to be mad at me.

On the contra, Disagreeable people tend to be more crotical, skeptical and challenging. They are not just cofortable with conflict. 

It energises them.





PARENTING EARLIER PARENTING NOW

 


Parenting much earlier and parenting now is very different. It's just the opposite. These days, you have to be a friend to your children. You need to have a  reason when you tell your children that something is not allowed. Now, it's all about reasoning and giving a logical answer behind what you say to your children. It can't be "because I said so.." You need to have logic behind it. Then, being respectful to elders or anyone the children meet is very important. Equally important is,  children have to be taught to give respect to the people who work for or with the parents. 

When these qualities are imbued in the children, people would evaluate them as brave, sensitive and well mannered. As we all know very well, kids of this generation mature way earlier. They are much more aware and intelligent. They are empathetic too.

You have to be a friend to your children. In fact you have to be their best friend. It's very important to allow your children to speak. Let them speak their mind. Encourage them to do that. Listen to them. But have the courage to say 'No' to sleepovers.

True, children learn a lot from school. However, we cannot forget that they learn a lot more from their own homes as well. 

No doubt, dynamism in parenting style alone can bring the best out of children at the current juncture.

........................

Excerpts from an interview with Neelam Kothari by Sidhi Kapoor in the Sunday Times of India of 12thApril2026

Neelam Kothari was 15 when she debuted in 1984 in Bollywood. In 2000 she had stepped away from the limelight to focus on her family life and the jewellery designing business.




Sunday, April 5, 2026

KUTTIMULLA OR JASMINE

                                                        KUTTIMULLA OR JASMINE


                                                                   


                                                                                   

                                                                
  

PARIJATHAM OR NITHYAKALYANI

 


                                                   PARIJATHAM OR NITHYAKALYANI

                                                                   


RIOT OF YELLOW

                                                                 RIOT OF YELLOW

                                     YELLOW FLOWERS EXTENDED AN INVITATION

                                                  I COULDN'T RESIST OR IGNORE 


                                                              


CAMERA CAPTURES BEAUTY

                                                           CAMERA CAPTURES BEAUTY    


                                                                 



                                                                             


  

                                                                             


 

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