Someone forwarded
Jesus said, "I am the bouncer"!
Children are the greatest gifts from God. They bring smiles to our lives. They learn from us. They depend on us. We learn from them. We relive our childhood as we watch them grow.They light up our lives.We live for them.We are their role models.They are there when we are in need. They are special. They are priceless.
Someone forwarded
Malayala Manorama
Sunday supplement
26 April 2026
List of books
See
A WALK THROUGH THE RAIN
second on the list
Why Indian Retirees Can’t Spend the Money They Sacrificed Their Lives to Save
Mr Sharma (a pseudonym for perhaps your father, uncle, or neighbour) is a success story of the great Indian middle-class dream.
He grew up in an India of scarcity—ration cards, waiting years for a telephone connection, and job security being the ultimate prize. For 40 years, he worked tirelessly in a PSU or a corporate job. He walked to the bus stop to save the autorickshaw fare. He wore shirts until the collars frayed. He sacrificed vacations to pay for IIT coaching and his children’s grand weddings.
Today, at 68, Mr. Sharma is sitting on a paid-off house in a decent locality and a retirement corpus of over ₹3 Crores in FDs, PPF, and mutual funds.
He has won the game. He is financially free.
Yet, last night in the peak of May summer heat, Mr. Sharma woke up sweating because he switched off the AC after running it for exactly one hour. Why waste electricity? he murmured.
This is the tragedy of the modern Indian retiree. They are asset-rich, cash-rich, but lifestyle-poor.
They are suffering from what financial psychologists call The Switch Failure (Inability to spend).
The Psychology of the Eternal Saver
For four decades, the switch in their brain was welded tight to the SAVE position. Every financial decision was filtered through the lens of accumulation. Saving wasn’t just a habit; it was a survival mechanism against an uncertain future in a developing economy.
Then, on the day of retirement, they are suddenly told to flip that switch to SPEND.
They physically cannot do it.
The neural pathways built over 40 years of frugality are too strong. To a lifelong saver, spending money—specifically, decumulating their hard-earned principal—registers in the brain almost like physical pain or moral failure.
They feel they are chopping down the tree they spent their whole life watering.
Symptoms of The Switch Failure in India
You see this manifested in countless Indian households where the parents have more than enough money, yet live in self-imposed austerity:
The FD Interest Trap: They will only spend the interest earned from Fixed Deposits. Touching the principal amount feels like committing a sin. As inflation rises and interest rates fluctuate, their lifestyle shrinks, even though the principal remains untouched.
The Medical Delay: They will have crores in the bank, but will delay a necessary knee replacement surgery or cataract operation for years because it costs too much right now.
The Travel Paradox: At 70 years old, with bad backs, they still book Sleeper Class train tickets for overnight journeys instead of a comfortable 2AC or a flight, simply because the train gets us there too.
The Inheritance Burden: A uniquely Indian pressure is the deep-seated belief that the entire corpus must be preserved for the children. They live like paupers so their 45-year-old, well-settled children can inherit a massive fortune later. "Why Indian Retirees Can’t Spend the Money They Sacrificed Their Lives to Save"
The Great Fear: What if I live too long?
The engine driving this inability to spend is a deep, primal fear of running out of money.
Indian retirees have seen inflation destroy the value of the Rupee over decades. They don’t trust that ₹3 Crores today will be enough 20 years from now when a hospital room might cost ₹50,000 a night.
So, they create a hyper-conservative buffer. They prepare for the absolute worst-case scenario (living to 105 with major medical needs), and in doing so, they completely miss out on the best-case scenario—enjoying the healthy years they have left.
The Final Destination: The Richest Corpse.
The tragic outcome of The Switch Failure is a life unlived.
They sacrificed their 30s, 40s, and 50s for a someday of comfort. But when the day arrives, they are too psychologically damaged by years of scarcity to embrace it.
They become the richest people in the graveyard. They leave behind massive bank balances, perfectly preserved houses, and unspent lockers full of gold jewellery. Their children inherit wealth they often don’t urgently need, while the parents die with regrets of trips not taken, comforts not bought, and generosity not shared.
If you, or your parents, are stuck in this trap, logic won’t fix it. Emotional re-framing is needed.
The Permission to Spend Fund
Create a separate bank account funded by a small portion of the corpus. The rule for this account is simple: This money must be wasted. It cannot be saved, invested, or given to kids. It must be spent on frivolous joy—a luxury hotel stay, a new car, a hobby. If it isn’t spent by the end of the year, it’s donated.
The Bucket Strategy
Divide the wealth. Bucket A is untouchable survival money for medical needs and basic living until age 85/90. Bucket B is lifestyle money. Once Bucket A is secure, the brain relaxes, making it easier to spend from Bucket B without the panic of running out.
Shift the Inheritance perspective
The greatest gift a parent can give adult children isn’t a massive inheritance when the children are already 50 years old. The greatest gift is being happy, healthy, and financially independent parents who enjoy their own lives. Your children want to see you spend your money on you.
The Bottom Line:
Money is stored energy. You spent your life accumulating this energy. If you don’t release it in the form of joy, comfort, and experiences while you are alive, that energy goes to waste.
You didn’t work for 40 years just to be the wealthiest patient in the hospital ward. Flip the switch. Buy the ticket. Turn on the AC. You earned it.
The elderly today are not just focussed on survival, they are focussed on maintaining independence and quality of life.
The biggest concern is overall fitness.
Mobility is crucial.
Even if someone gains six months to a year of independent mobile life, it makes a huge difference to their dignity and well being.
Adam Grant
Think Again
In a heated argument, you can always stop and ask, "What evidence would change your mind?
If the answer is "nothing", there is no point in continuing the debate. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it think.
When someone is losing control, your tranquility is a sign of strength. The more anger and hostility the other person expresses, it ought to evoke more curiosity and interest in you.
It takes the wind out of the emotional sails of the one who loses control. It's pretty rare for someone to respond by screaming "SCREAMING IS MY PREFERRED MODE OF COMMUNICATION!"
When someone becomes hostile, if you respond by viewing the argument as a war, you can either attack or retreat.
If instead you treat it as a dance, you have another option - you can sidestep.
Having a conversation about the conversation shifts the attention away from the substance of the disagreement and towards the process for having a dialogue
Though a basketball team had a big support base, the supporters never bothered to attend their games. In order to motivate the fans to attend the games of the team, they thought the most persuasive message would come from the team itself.
Emails were sent to the fans with quotes from players and coaches about how part of the home crowd advantage stems from the energy of a packed house of cheering fans.
It had no effect. The attendance was dismal.
Then they changed the track.
Emails were sent with just one question.
"Are you planning to attend?"
The attendance climbed to 85 percent.
The question had given the fans freedom to make their own case for going.
The rationale is, psychologists have long found that the person most likely to persuade you to change your mind is you.
You get to pick the reasons you find most compelling and you come away with a real sense of ownership over them.
We don't have to convince them we are right. We just need to open their minds to the possibility that they might be wrong.
Their natural curiosity would do the rest
Adam Grant
THINK AGAIN
I know he knows the world.
And he knows I know my world.
We balance each other.
He's my emotional pillar.
And to him I'm his emotional pillar.
We hit it off
Really well
Rashmee Roshan Lall writes in The Times of India of 18th April 2026
European Leaders may be uncomfortable with Trump's Iran war but won't dare criticize him. For, US remains the guarantor of western security
It reminded me of my response to a WhatsApp post forwarded by an acquaintance that prophesied imminent disaster for America.
The response is here and the WhatsApp post is afterwards
Everyone wants America to go broke.
It was because of them World Wars 1 & 2 were not lost to the marauding Germans and their allies. Continent far away, they could have remained where they were and enjoyed the fierce battles that went on in Europe and elsewhere.
If they were not there the Soviets would have taken over the rest of the world.
They are the last hope for freedom of the individual in the world
Of course, they are imperfect. That they show off as well.
Americans were scared stiff when the twin towers were destroyed.
They won't let anyone to build capabilities for an encore nor detonate a nuclear device in their domain.
Question is do we want freedom as it is in China or other autocratic countries.
But people will be happy when a megalith falters and falls. They dream of such a day.
But after that what, they don't ever think
WhatsApp post
The single management high school in the outskirts of the city had been producing excellent results at the SSLC examination for the past fifteen years. It had dedicated teachers who toiled hard to bring out the best from the students. Leading them from the front was the manager, Dileep K S.
Just as the school was single management, Dileep too was single. He was wedded to his own school.
He stayed in a studio apartment at the top floor of the school building. He was non vegetarian. He had a cook who prepared delicious food for him. The cook did the cleaning afterwards as well.
Dileep ran into a problem once.
He had to visit a Dentist when he suffered a severe tooth ache. The Doctor found that a tooth had to be extracted as it was beyond conservation.
Dileep consented. The tooth was extracted.
The Doctor told him he should forgo dinner that night. He could take cold tea and hot tea was proscribed. Dileep said he could go on without dinner. But he wanted to know whether he could consume liquor - Rum, Whisky or Wine.
The doctor sympathized with him, but he was firm - no alcohol that night.
It was the worst night for Dileep in his whole life.
Dr. Suresh Kumar J, MDS had his dental clinic at Kallissery, close to Chengannur. He had a flourishing practice as he was fairly experienced. As luck was in his favour, he had been the lone dental surgeon at Kallissery.
Dr. Suresh, as he was known, would open his clinic at 9.00 am everyday. There was a 3 hour break at noon from 12.00 noon to 3 pm. Then it was non stop practice from 3.00pm to 8.00 pm. As he thoroughly enjoyed what he was doing he never had employed another doctor. Of course, there were two dental technicians to assist him.
One evening, as he was winding up the practice at 8.00 pm after a heavy day, his neighbour and the local Post Master, Sivaraman Nair had rushed in. He wanted the molar or grinder tooth extracted. The tooth with a gaping cavity had been giving him sleepless nights for almost a fortnight. The pain it subjected him to was excruciating.
Dr.Suresh was tired to the hilt. All he wanted was to step into his house behind the clinic and a hot tea. He explained to Sivaraman Nair his predicament. He thought his friend would understand what he said as his son and daughter in law - both of them Surgeons in the Taluk Hospital - were staying with him.
No. Sivaraman Nair would not relent an inch. The good doctor did not wish to antagonize the long-standing friendship.
Dr. Suresh said he would extract the tooth and queried Sivaraman Nair whether he was taking any medicine. Negative was the reply.
Perfection was the hallmark of Dr. Suresh and it had adhered whoever he met to him.
The tooth came off. Sivaraman Nair went home in the happiest frame of mind. He was sanguine he could have a sound sleep that night.
It was late night. The time was 1.00 am.
Dr.Suresh was fast asleep after the hectic day in the Clinic.
The phone rang. It was Sivaraman Nair.
He was frantic. He said, "Doctor, there is heavy bleeding. I had forgotten to tell you I'm on Ecosprin for quite sometime now."
Dr.Suresh didn't know what went through his mind woken up at that hour with this piece of critical information that had been held back.
Anger swelled in his mind,
But Dr.Suresh being the Dr.Suresh he was, kept his cool.
He advised Sivaraman Nair to consult at once his son or daughter in law who were at home for an immediate remedy.
Good morning and Congratulations Sir…
The way you have presented your thoughts are very inspiring and impressive… Our outlook of life starts with our childhood days & for you ….grown up in a serene place itself has deeply influenced you… and later of course your Journey of life opened doors for expression of your thoughts…
I really want to read your book.. “A Walk Through the Rain “ …. I would like to know from where will I get your book? Thank you so much for remembering me and sharing this with me. How is ma’am doing? Convey my special regards to her…
May God bless both of you abundantly!!!!
24 year old R. Vaishali won the Candidates tournament in Chess at Cyprus to challenge the current world champion in the championship match 2026.
She is the elder sister of R. Praggnanandhaa.
Rameshbabu Praggnanandha (born on 10 August 2005) is an Indian chess grandmaster. A chess prodigy, he was placed second in the 2023 Chess World Cup, and won the 2025 FIDE Circuit. He was part of the Indian team that won the silver medal at the 2022 Asian Games in the men's team competition, and the gold medal in the open section at the 45th Chess Olympiad in 2024. He had won the Tata Steel Chess Tournament 2025
R Vaishali (Rameshbabu Vaishali) is the elder sister of R Praggnanandhaa. Born on June 21, 2001, she is a Grandmaster and had recently won the 2026 FIDE Women’s Candidates Tournament. They are recognized as the world's first-ever brother-sister Grandmaster pair.
Her father says, "In these 20 years, she has put in a lot of effort and struggled a lot, so it has finally come to fruition. I tell her: if you work hard you will always get results. I'm feeling very happy and proud."
Interesting factor is, her mother Nagalakshmi had diverted her to chess to keep her away from the smartphone and the social media when she was a child.
Nagalakshmi knows no Chess.
She prepares excellent Rasam.
She accompanies her children and takes care of what they eat.
She is the greatest support to both the Chess Grandmasters .
The job you are on
becomes a joyful exercise
when it resonates
with your attitude to life.
For that, you need to be led
by passion and purpose.
It's the University exam time at the KUTS.
Mohanan ensures that blank answer sheets are supplied to the examinees well in time. His conscientiousness makes him arrive at KUTS sufficiently early.
He was busy on his job.
His phone rings. Someone at the other end tells him his son has been injured badly in a bike accident. Mohanan was shocked.
He literally ran to the Principal's quarters and had apprised the Principal of the mishap.
The Principal asked him to proceed at once to the hospital and gave him some cash.
At the Hospital Mohanan learned what went wrong.
His son was riding his bike to supply newspapers at the houses in the locality for an agent. His friend was riding pillion to help him finish the job fast. The boys were not wearing helmets as they were on the village road. Mohanan's son was riding at 30kmph.
As he turned a curve a dog suddenly ran across. He swerved not to hit the dog. But there was an elderly man on the left on the shoulder of the road. He swerved again to save the gentleman.. He had the pillion rider to think of as well. The boy was perplexed. He lost control as he found the front wheel was skidding. The bike went straight. It stopped after the front wheel had dashed against a tree It was a mess. Mohanan's son fell on the road. The motion dragged him. There was profuse bleeding from an ear. Fortunately the pillion rider did not suffer any injury. The dog was saved. The elderly gentle man was saved. The pillion rider was saved.
The boy was immediately taken to an adjacent private hospital.. On examination they observed that the ear was torn and it required suturing, The Doctor in charge told them that they were not equipped to meet an emergency like this. They were advised to transfer the patient to a better equipped hospital.
As it was a holiday on that 15th - it was Vishu - most of the hospitals were understaffed.
Finally, after deliberations, they decided to shift the patient to NIMS Hospital, Neyyattinkara. The hospital authorities admitted the patient and advised them to wait. They had to ring up the surgeon and request him to come on the holiday to attend to the patient.
The good doctor arrived quick. He sutured the the torn ear back into place.
Once the procedure was over, the patient was discharged.
Mohanan ended up paying the Hospital bill of Rs.23000.00.
But it was a big relief that after meeting with such a ghastly accident, the boy came out of it with a minor injury.
The Bike bore it all
The Bike would need a princely sum to get back into shape..
Divya is CONGRESS I
Sarat her husband is CPM
Divya goes to cast her vote at 5pm at Pettah on 9th April 2026
She was told her vote had already been cast by someone
She started shouting. She said the vote was her right.
She said she won't leave without voting or exercising her franchise
Then they gave her a paper to sign and allowed her to vote
Hearing this Reena said Susan's vote could have been cast like this.
Susan is away at Kattappana.
It was difficult for her to return on the 9th to participate in the election process.
Question remains.
Had Susan's vote been cast?
Words fail me.
Channel after Channel (Malayalam) revel in showing off the murder in the open of a young man.
His crime?
He tried to dissuade two groups from a fight in the bar. He dared to interfere where no one bothered to pacify the warring groups.
Result?
The poor man was murdered in the open. He was hit, He was kicked. There he lay on the road helpless. The murderers did not relent. His ribs were broken. He was smothered.
On lookers stood there watching the sordid drama. They went on capturing everything on the phone.
The Channels had their bite.
The murder went live across the state, the nation and the world.
A young child lost its father. A young wife lost her husband. A mother lost her son.
Why can't the Channels desist from telecasting the horror.
No they won't ever.
We have become a tribe that derives pleasure from watching without flinching the murder of a fellow human being in real time as long as we are not directly a part of it.
Sneha Bhura writes in The Times of India of 14th April 2026.
Parents, mind your phone use, or your rules for Kids won't matter
The writer continues:
Moms and Dads worry about Digital Addiction. But often overlook their own Roles as First Role Models
Highlights:
Twenty years ago, parenting meant chasing scraped knees and bedtime stories. Today, it is negotiating screen curfews between back to back videocalls. Parents have to juggle Zoom meetings and fight their own urge even as they exhort their kids to 'look up,'
For a parent, in a real story, mindless scrolling was a reflex reaction. She had entered the social media as her neighbours and contacts had considered her too traditional since she was inactive on social media. When her daughter was in Class 10, she advised her to quit social media. However, she understood she should not stay on in social media if she were to suggest that to her daughter.
She calls it social modelling.
The whole family stayed off social media and had shifted their news habits to television. They began watching the TV news together instead of scrolling. While phones keep everyone updated individually, the time spent together watching TV allowed them to discuss among themselves and gravitate to what was happening around the world.
A study reveals, Indian parents spend over 5 hours daily on smartphones while children spend over 4 hours. The children have identified excessive usage of smartphones as source of conflict between them and their parents.
Delhi based clinical psychologist Rachna K Singh expresses her views:
"When parents frequently check phones during meals or keep them close while unwinding, adolescents perceive it as the normal way to live. Research shows that over 70% of teenagers say they have seen their parents use devices during family time, which directly influences how they set their own boundaries."
We may listen to another opinion as well:
"Parenting was different in the days before smartphone. If you were told not to do something beyond a certain time, it was at least partially respected. Today that's a very debatable topic."
How to transcend this downward spiral of distraction?
Your own hobbies can come to your rescue.
It's true, during Covid everything was online - Work calls, Zoom, Teams - while the Kids were in online classes. Covid Phase had shaped people's relationship with gadgets. Now, it's instant access to everything. Kids have too much, too easily. It's indeed bad they'll never know the sense of waiting or looking forward to things.
Scrolling has become a reflex reaction for almost everyone.
The cycle could be broken if you would rediscover your hobbies. Parents struggling with tech addiction must find an activity they love. It would help children pull away from their gadgets if they pick up a hobby or sport.
When the parents go after their hobbies the children will never be far behind.
13/4/2026
Raju, or Abraham Eapen, my sister Leela's husband is a tough task master. He's the elder brother of Jose Paikad, a great educator.
Abraham Eapen is former Vice Principal, Ivy League Academy, Hyderabad - Secunderabad
It was with trepidation I had handed over a copy of my book A WALK THROUGH THE RAIN to him.
But WATCH the conversation afterwards
16/03/2026
Raju
I read the first 130 pages of the book. The chapters about Robin and Papa’s Hospital Episode were very touching. I liked it verymuch.Succeeded in conveying the emotions intended. Editing left much to be desired. Rest after completion of the book.
16/03/2026
Thank you for the comments.
On editing, I knew something was wrong after it was published.
What happened was, it was a rush job to beat the deadline. I couldn't have a look before it went to the press. I was away at Alapuzha.
If at all a second edition comes out some of the glitches could be obviated, I believe.
17/03/2026
The chapters on” Kuzhappamilla” and "Back Bench Philosophy" are exactly the same thought I also have. The book cover is excellent! I finished reading it . You have enormous patience to take the pain to write so much . It is an effort worth applauding!
17/03/2026
Grateful for reading it in full.
And thanks for the compliments.
Creative writing is an area where you are compelled to express.
The cover was designed by Bejoy B. A friend and well wisher.
All credit to him.
I consider the applause from you is worth the diamond standard.
Thank you once again
PLIGHT OF THE PEOPLE PLEASER
Adam Grant writes in Think Again
As long as I can remember, I've been determined to keep the peace. May be it's genetic. May be it's because my parents got divorced. Whatever the cause, in Psychology there is a name for my affliction.
It's called Agreeableness.
It is one of the major personality traits around the world.
Agreeable people tend to be nice, friendly, polite.
My first impulse is to avoid even the most trivial of conflicts. When I am riding in an Uber and the air conditioning is blasting, I struggle to bring myself to ask the driver to turn it down ---I just sit there shivering in silence until my teeth start to chatter.
When someone steps on my shoe, I've actually apologised for inconveniently leaving my foot in his path. When students fill out course evaluation, one of their most common complaints is that I'm "too supportive of stupid comments."
My answer to the question, "Why I avoid conflict," is :
On the contra, Disagreeable people tend to be more crotical, skeptical and challenging. They are not just cofortable with conflict.
It energises them.
Parenting much earlier and parenting now is very different. It's just the opposite. These days, you have to be a friend to your children. You need to have a reason when you tell your children that something is not allowed. Now, it's all about reasoning and giving a logical answer behind what you say to your children. It can't be "because I said so.." You need to have logic behind it. Then, being respectful to elders or anyone the children meet is very important. Equally important is, children have to be taught to give respect to the people who work for or with the parents.
When these qualities are imbued in the children, people would evaluate them as brave, sensitive and well mannered. As we all know very well, kids of this generation mature way earlier. They are much more aware and intelligent. They are empathetic too.
You have to be a friend to your children. In fact you have to be their best friend. It's very important to allow your children to speak. Let them speak their mind. Encourage them to do that. Listen to them. But have the courage to say 'No' to sleepovers.
True, children learn a lot from school. However, we cannot forget that they learn a lot more from their own homes as well.
No doubt, dynamism in parenting style alone can bring the best out of children at the current juncture.
........................
Excerpts from an interview with Neelam Kothari by Sidhi Kapoor in the Sunday Times of India of 12thApril2026
Neelam Kothari was 15 when she debuted in 1984 in Bollywood. In 2000 she had stepped away from the limelight to focus on her family life and the jewellery designing business.