EVOLUTION OF SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIPS

 A successful relationship requires regular rethinking. Somehow being considerate means reconsidering something as simple as our habits. At other times being supportive means opening our minds to bigger life changes - moving to a different country, different community or a different job to support our partner's priorities. When we are willing to update our ideas of who our partners are, it gives them freedom to evolve and the relationship room to grow.

Whether we do check ups with our partners, our parents or our mentors, it's worth pausing once or twice a year to reflect on how our aspirations have changed.

As we identify past images of our lives that are no longer relevant to our future, we can start to rethink our plans. That sets up happiness for us - as long as we are not too fixated on finding it. 

Here is the story of a young man who had been dating a woman for just over a year.

Although it was the most fulfilling relationship he had ever had, he was still questioning whether it was the right match. He had always imagined himself managing a woman who was ambitious in her career or passionate about improving the world. However he was feeling that his girlfriend had seemed less driven and more relaxed in her approach to life.

He met Adam Grant and sought his opinion. Adam Grant asked him how old he was when he formed that vision of a partner and how much he had changed since then.

He replied that he had held it since he was a teenager. He had never paused to rethink it.

As they conversed, the young man started to realize that if he and his girl friend were happy together, ambition and passion might not be as important to him in a partner as they had been in the past. He came to understand that he was inspired by women who were highly motivated to succeed and serve because, that was who he himself had wanted to be.

Two and and a half years later he reached out with an update. He had decided to let go of his preconceived image of who his partner should be. He said," I decided to open up and talk to her about how she's different from the person I'd imagined being with. Surprisingly, she told me the same thing. I wasn't who she imagined she'd end up with either - she expected to end up with a guy who was more  creative - someone who was more gregarious."

"We accepted it and moved on. I'm thrilled to have left my old ideas behind to make space for the full her and everything our relationship could bring."

Just before the pandemic, he proposed to to her and they were now engaged, writes Adam Grant.

When we are willing to update our ideas of who our partners are, it can give them freedom to evolve and our relationships room to grow.

It simply means you are staying open to who your partner might become instead of having fixed ideas of what your partner should be.

Adam Grant                                                                                                                          
Think Again

ASIAN GAMES AT NAGOYA - 10m Air Pistol event - MANU BHAKER FINISHES FIFTH

 In the absence of caoch and mentor Jaspal Rana, Manu Bhaker finishes fifth                       in the women's 10m air pistol event in the Asian Games at Nagoya

Jaspal Rana was one of the most decorated shooters in Asian Games history with eight medals including four Gold across three editions.

He was the coach and mentor to Manu Bhaker who had won two bronze medals in 2024 at the Paris Olympic Games.

Ever since Jaspal Rana's untimely death in June 2026, the 24 year old Manu Bhaker had maintained a dignified silence.

She spoke to the media after she completed her event in the Asian Games.

"I remember what he (Jaspal Rana) said, not once or twice, but all the time. It just stays with you. When a person has been a big part of your life, it just stays. It is very natural.'

"Of all the things he said, what I remember the most is about the process. He was just so adamant about the process - that at any given point in your life, you have to be able to give your best performance and follow your process."

"Life is very unpredictable. So, live your life to the fullest. Be kind to everyone."

LEAVING A CAREER PATH

 Deciding to leave a career path is often easier than identifying a new one. 

Herminia Ibarra, management professor, finds that as people consider career choices and transitions, it helps when they think like scientists.

The first step towards this is to entertain possible selves. 

Identify some people you admire within or outside your field. Observe what they do at work day by day. 

The second step is to develop hypothesis about how these paths might align with your own interests, skills and values.

The third step is to test out different identities by running experiments - doing informational interviews, job shadowing and sample projects to get a taste of work.

The goal is not to confirm a particular plan.

It is to expand your repertoire of possible selves.

It keeps you open to rethinking

Adam Grant
Think Again

IDENTITY FORECLOSURE

 Identity foreclosure can stop us from evolving. It is the opposite of an identity crisis. Instead of accepting uncertainty about who we want to become, we develop compensatory conviction and plunge into a career path. Very often students who are most certain about their career plans at twenty turn out to be the ones with deepest regrets by thirty.

Identity foreclosure is a Band-Aid.

It covers up an identity crisis. But fails to cure it.

Do not get trapped in an overconfidence cycle, taking pride in pursuing a career identity and surrounding yourself with people who validate your conviction. By the time you discover it was the wrong fit, you'd feel it's too late to think again..

The stakes seem too high to walk away. The sacrifices of salary, status, skill and time would appear to be too much. 

To put it straight, it's better to lose the past two years of progress than to waste the next twenty years of your precious life.

Adam Grant
Think Again

MOMENTS OF JOY

 Passions are often developed, not dscovered.

Happiness depends more on the frequency of positive emotions than their intensity. 

We must savour our moments of joy than ruminating about why our lives aren't more joyful.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY

You can't get away from yourself by moving from one place to another.

BREATHING NEW MEANING INTO OUR DAYS

 

Some people are perfectly content with their fields of work. But they are dissatisfied with their current roles. Others may be too risk averse to make a geographic move for a job or a partner. Many may not have the luxury of financial independence. Many may be economically dependent on a job. Many may be emotionally attached to an extended family that curtail their options.

Whether we have opportunity or appetite for major changes in ourselves or not, it is still possible to breathe new meaning into our days. 

At work and in life, the best we can do is plan for what we want to learn and contribute over the next year or two. Then we have to stay open to what might come next.

Adam Grant

Think Again