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When Dr. Thomas Varghese learned how Becka Jill Konnayil's father had survived a massive heart attcak he posted:
Lucky for her, her father survived. A few months back one of our church members had syncope and was pulseless. I detected it and the physician started CPR, he still comes to church!
It’s a part of life some we can save, some we lose and a part of us dies with them.
It’s both horrible and immensely satisfying…. We just pray the latter comes in often.
Amy Wrzesniewski and Jane Duttonn, colleagues of Adam Grant, had found that in every line of work, there were people who became active architects of their own jobs.They rethink their roles through job crafting - changing their daily actions to better fit their values, interests and skills. One of the places Amy and Jane studied job crafting was in the University of Michigan health care system.
If you visited a certain floor of the hospital, it wouldn't be long before cancer patients told you how grateful they were for Candice Walker. Her mission was not only to protect their fragile immune systems - it was also to care for their fragile emotions. She called the chemotherapy centre, the House of Hope.
Candice was often the first one to console families when their loved ones were through treatment. She showed up with bagels and coffee. She would make patients laugh by telling stories about her cats drinking her milk or showing them that she had accidentally put on one brown sock and one blue sock. One day she saw a patient on the floor of an elevator writhing in pain and the staff members nearby weren't sure what to do. Candice immediately took charge, rushed the woman into a wheelchair and took her up in the elevator for urgent treatment. The patient later called her, 'my saviour.'
Candice Walker wasn't a doctor or a nurse. She wasn't a social worker.either. She was a custodian. Her official job was to keep the cancer centre clean.
Candice and her fellow custodians were all hired to do the same job. But some of them ended up rethinking their roles. One cleaner on a long term intensive care unit took it upon herself to regularly rearrange the paintings on the walls, hoping the change of scenery might spark some awareness among patients in comas.
When asked about, she said, "No, it's not part of my job, but it's a part of me."
Adam Grant, in 'Think Again' presents a student who had approached him for advice.
She had explained to him, when she chose Wharton, she had focussed too much on getting into the best school and too little on finding the best fit. She wished she had picked a college with a more carefree culture and a stronger sense of community. Now that she was clear on her values, she was considering a transfer to a school that would make her happier.
A few weeks later she told Adam Grant that a moment in class had helped her rethink her plan. It wasn't the research on happiness they discussed, the values survey she took or the decision making activity they did.
It was a comedy sketch he showed her from 'Saturday Night Live'
The scene stars Adam Sandler as a tour guide. In a mock commercial, advertising his company's Italian tours, he mentions that customer reviews sometimes expresses disappointment. He takes the opportunity to remind customers what a vacation can and can't do for them.
"There is a lot a vacation can do.. Help you to unwind. See some different looking squirrels. But it cannot fix deeper issues, like how you behave in group settings."
"We can take you on a hike. We can't turn you into someone who likes hiking."
"Remember, you are still gonna be on vacation. If you are sad, where you are and then you get on a plane to Italy, the you in Italy will be the same sad you from before, just in a new place."
When we pursue happiness, we often start by changing our surroundings. We expect to find bliss in a warmer climate or a friendlier dorm. But any joy that those choices bring about is typically temporary.
Ernest Hemingway said, "You can't get away from yourself by moving from one place to another."
Our happiness depend more on what we do than where we are. It's our actions - not our surroundings - that bring us meaning and belonging.
The student decided not to seek a transfer.
Instead of where she went to school, she would rethink how she spent her time.
She might not be able to change the culture of an entire insitution, but she could create a subculture.
She started doing weekly coffee chats with classmates and invited the ones who shared her interests and values over for weekly tea sessions.
A few months later she reported that she has formed several close friendships and was thrilled with her decision to stay.
The impact didn't stop there. Her tea gatherings became a tradition for welcoming students who felt out of place. Instead of transferring to a new community, they built their own community.
They weren't focussing on happiness. They were looking for contribution and connection
As we get older, we become more focussed on searching for meaning. We mostly find it in actions that benefit others.
The test of meaningful work is to ask, "If this job doesn't exist, how much worse off would people be?"
It is near midlife this question often begins to loom large. At around this time, in both work and life, we feel we have more to give - and less to lose - and we are especially keen to share our knowledge and skills with the next generation.
When people talk about the evolution of self esteem in their careers, the progression often appears like this:-
The sooner you get to Phase 3, the more impact you have and the more happiness you experience.
The message is, one should think about happiness less as a goal and more as a by-product of mastery and meaning.
John Stuart Mill, the philosopher's statement is worth mentioning here.
"Those only are happy, who have their minds fixed on some object other than their own happiness - on the happiness of others, on the improvement of mankind, even on some art or pursuit, followed not as a means, but as itself an ideal end. Aiming thus at something else, they find happiness by the way."
Never stay in a role, relationship or place you hate unless you have no other alternatives. When it comes to careers, instead of searching for the job where we'll be the happiest, we might be better off pusuing the job where we expect to learn and contribute the most.
Passions are often developed, not discovered.
In a study of entrepreneurs, the more effect they put into their start ups, the more their enthusiasm about businesses climbed each week. Their passion grew as they gained momentum and mastery. Interest doesn't always lead to effort and skill. It follows them.
By investing in learning and problem solving, we can develop our passion. Build the skills necessary to do the work and lead the lives we find worthwhile.
As I read through the editorial folio of The Times of India of 23rd September 2026, attention was drawn to a quote from Andre Maurios atop the editorials.
"Conversation would be vastly improved by the constant use of four simple words - - I do not know"
Beneath that there was the intriguing title, 'Talk More, Please.'
It aroused my curiosity. Let me place here what I absorbed.
It is the full text.
TALK MORE, PLEASE
People now talk a lot less than they did 20 years ago. That might have social and emotional costs.
Humans have been talking for at least 200000 years. But it looks like we aren't practicing enough of late. In 2005, psychologists ran an experiment to test the belief that women out talk men. They found it was bunk. In fact, the most loquacious participants in the study turned out to be some men, averaging 47000 a day.- roughly half the length of a typical modern novel. But the overall average was around 16000 words, with no significant difference between the sexes. By 2019, it had fallen to roughly 12000 words.
Nobody knows for sure why we became less talkative, but the top hunch is that we became too engrossed in our digital lives. Navigation apps made stopping and asking directions unnecessary. E-comm silenced shopping. We enter elevators, nose in phone, and ride the subway without acknowledging other riders.
"Can't talk, please text," is our permanent status. Small talk, incidental conversations with strangers, and outer -circle interactions with acquaintances and neighbours are unnecessary and avoidable. We have optimised our leisure time, taking morning walks plugged into music or podcasts.
This "efficiency" has cost us many millions of words each over the years. And it matters because we are social animals. Yes, small talk seems wasteful, but research shows we actually come away happier from it. Speaking those few words to a neighbour or rank stranger, makes us feel more connected. You may discuss the weather, but the real communication occurs through tone, gestures, body language or facial expressions. You can't harbour hatred for someone after lamenting onion prices with them. So, small talk makes the world a less hostile place.
We look at each other and think, " I know you. We've spoken before. You're not out to harm me. We can get along."
The 4000 daily words we don't speak now were part of our social budget. We still talk to family, close friends and work teams more or less as we did before, but on everyone else we are shutting the door. For what? To watch more reels, or soak in rage on X? It's not a good bargain. Maybe, if we dug ourselves out of our phones and said more hellos, we'd feel more emotionally and socially secure.
Our identities are open systems. So are our lives. We don't have to stay tethered to old images of where we want to go or who we want to be.
The simplest way to start rethinking our options is to question what we do everyday.
It takes humility to reconsider our past commitments, doubt to question our present decisions and curiosity to reimagine our future plans.
What we discover along the way can free us from the shackles of our familiar surroundings and our former selves.
Rethinking liberates us to do more than update our knowledge and opinions.
It's a tool for leading a more fulfilling life.
