SHE ALONE CAN PLAY HER GAME

I am saddling you with a real story.

One evening two years ago at around 6 pm the Principal of KUTSeminary, Kannammoola, Trivandrum Rev.MPJoseph had given me a call. He said the CSI Synod Treasurer Adv.Bruce is visiting the Seminary for ascertaining the issues that had been plaguing KUTS for quite sometime. Problems always arise in a dynamic environment.. As I was the Honorary Treasurer of the KUTS the Principal wanted me there since according to his perception I had been well conversant in the subject.

I said yes and reached the Seminary at once.

Adv. Bruce arrived without delay. He reviewed the performance of the Seminary. We presented the events and matters objectively.

Once the meeting was over Adv. Bruce sought the intervention of the Principal for securing an admission for a girl at the St.Thomas Residential School Trivandrum CBSE 11th Standard. I kept quiet. But Achen wouldn't let go. He requested me to intercede. I had a relative at the School. Though my disposition is never to interfere in the official matters of my relatives, something made me say yes.

The girl was the daughter of Mr. J Kanakaraj of Nagercoil. His wife was a teacher in a School there. The grandfather of the girl was a close associate of Adv.Bruce in politics.

When I contacted my relative, he said that with due respect to the system of education prevalent in Tamil Nadu the general policy of the School was not to admit students from the state as the students  there were being showered with elevated percentage of marks.  However their performance at the School was consistently on the flip side. They encountered stress  in coping with the method of teaching at the School. He said it was a general observation. However there were exceptions. The School never hesitated in admitting students from Tamil Nadu who were prepared to work hard.

However my gentle persuasions succeeded. The girl was admitted. The parents had told me that the girl had found out about the school herself.

The girl proved to be a liability in the hostel. She was the worst performer in the class. The parents finally decided to shift her back to Tamil Nadu. But her mother was resilient. She took the initiative in renting a flat very close to the school. She said it was the first time she was leaving the comfort of her home and making it out alone in the world. She stayed with the girl, looked after her very well. Slowly, the girl picked up the broken pieces. She began to do well in studies.

The mother's sacrifice was spectacular.

She brought a scooter to the flat. She kept a scooter at the the Eraniel Railway station. Everyday she rode from Mukkola, took the train and took the Scooter at Eraniel to reach her school. She'd return in the evening. Initially she didn't know the roads in Trivandrum. Many times she lost her way. A fantastic mother who refused to consign her daughter to or in the wilderness.

Her father rang me up yesterday. He was brimming with joy. He conveyed that the girl has passed CBSE 12 with 92%. I was happy. He thanked me profusely.

He added that she could have done still better if she had made an effort.

That kindled something somewhere within me.

I posted him a message this morning.

I am posting it here. I went for the story because the message alone does not make sense.

"Don't know what I had conveyed yesterday had made any sense.

One thing I would like to stress. Your daughter, the name is not coming alive - please tell me again - is a very very smart girl. She has her own space in the world. I reiterate, her own space. The parental function is not to push her into a space that would be ideal for her in their perception, but to assist her discover her own space.

Don't worry if academic pursuits do not reach a high level. Don't worry if she does not land a high profile job. Be happy she is what she is.

I can assure that she'd reach somewhere much to your delight.

Children are never born incapable. They are never born fools. They fall on the way injuring themselves. The grief of the parents on that would seem insurmountable. Be stoic. Bear the unending set backs with stoicism.

Everything is cyclic in the world. Nothing lasts forever. Happiness and sorrows or disappointments are two sides of the same coin. Human beings are open to both.

It's all philosophy, you may percieve. But I have been through all this. I am still doing that. I speak from the wealth of experience accrued or picked up over the years.

Leave the girl alone. But  watch closely from the sidelines. She alone can play her game."