SEARCHING FOR MEANING

As we get older, we become more focussed on searching for meaning. We mostly find it in actions that benefit others. 

The test of meaningful work is to ask, "If this job doesn't exist, how much worse off would people be?"

It is near midlife this question often begins to loom large. At around this time, in both work and life, we feel we have more to give - and less to lose - and we are especially keen to share our knowledge and skills with the next generation. 

When people talk about the evolution of self esteem in their careers, the progression often appears like this:-

Phase 1.  I am not important
Phase 2.  I am important.
Phase 3.  I want to contribute to something important.

The sooner you get to Phase 3, the more impact you have and the more happiness you experience.

The message is, one should think about happiness less as a goal and more as a by-product of mastery and meaning.

John Stuart Mill, the philosopher's statement is worth mentioning here.

"Those only are happy, who have their minds fixed on some object other than their own happiness - on the happiness of others, on the improvement of mankind, even on some art or pursuit, followed not as a means, but as itself an ideal end. Aiming thus at something else, they find happiness by the way."

Adam Grant
Think Again

NEVER STAY IN A ROLE.

Never stay in a role, relationship or place you hate unless you have no other alternatives.  When it comes to careers, instead of searching for the job where we'll be the happiest, we might be better off pusuing the job where we expect to learn and contribute the most.

Passions are often developed, not discovered.

In a study of entrepreneurs, the more effect they put into their start ups, the more their enthusiasm about businesses climbed each week. Their passion grew as they gained momentum and mastery. Interest doesn't always lead to effort and skill. It follows them. 

By investing in learning and problem solving, we can develop our passion. Build the skills necessary to do the work and lead the lives we find worthwhile.

Adam Grant
Think Again

TALK MORE, PLEASE

 

As I read through the editorial folio of  The Times of India of 23rd September 2026, attention was drawn to a quote from Andre Maurios atop the editorials. 

"Conversation would be vastly improved by the constant use of four simple words -                    - I do not know" 

Beneath that there was the intriguing title,  'Talk More, Please.'

It aroused my curiosity. Let me place here what I absorbed. 

It is the full text.

TALK MORE, PLEASE

People now talk a lot less than they did 20 years ago. That might have social and emotional costs.

Humans have been talking for at least 200000 years. But it looks like we aren't practicing enough of late. In 2005, psychologists ran an experiment to test the belief that women out talk men. They found it was bunk. In fact, the most loquacious participants in the study turned out to be some men, averaging 47000 a day.- roughly half the length of a typical modern novel. But the overall average was around 16000 words, with no significant difference between the sexes. By 2019, it had fallen to roughly 12000 words.

Nobody knows for sure why we became less talkative, but the top hunch is that we became too engrossed in our digital lives. Navigation apps made stopping and asking directions unnecessary. E-comm silenced shopping. We enter elevators, nose in phone, and ride the subway without acknowledging other riders. 

"Can't talk, please text," is our permanent status. Small talk, incidental conversations with strangers, and outer -circle interactions with acquaintances and neighbours are unnecessary and avoidable. We have optimised our leisure time, taking morning walks plugged into music or podcasts.

This "efficiency" has cost us many millions of words each over the years. And it matters because we are social animals. Yes, small talk seems wasteful, but research shows we actually come away happier from it. Speaking those few words to a neighbour or rank stranger, makes us feel more connected. You may discuss the weather, but the real communication occurs through tone, gestures, body language or facial expressions. You can't harbour  hatred for someone after lamenting onion prices with them. So, small talk makes the world a less hostile place. 

We look at each other and think, " I know you. We've spoken before. You're not out to harm me. We can get along."

The 4000 daily words we don't speak now were part of our social budget. We still talk to family, close friends and work teams more or less as we did before, but on everyone  else we are shutting the door. For what? To watch more reels, or soak in rage on X? It's not a good bargain. Maybe, if we dug ourselves out of our phones and said more hellos, we'd feel more emotionally and socially secure.

TOOL FOR A FULFILLING LIFE - RETHINKING

 

Our identities are open systems. So are our lives. We don't have to stay tethered to old images of where we want to go or who we want to be. 

The simplest way to start rethinking our options is to question what we do everyday.

It takes humility to reconsider our past commitments, doubt to question our present decisions and curiosity to reimagine our future plans. 

What we discover along the way can free us from the shackles of our familiar surroundings and our former selves.

Rethinking liberates us to do more than update our knowledge and opinions. 

It's a tool for leading a more fulfilling life.

EVOLUTION OF SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIPS

 A successful relationship requires regular rethinking. Somehow being considerate means reconsidering something as simple as our habits. At other times being supportive means opening our minds to bigger life changes - moving to a different country, different community or a different job to support our partner's priorities. When we are willing to update our ideas of who our partners are, it gives them freedom to evolve and the relationship room to grow.

Whether we do check ups with our partners, our parents or our mentors, it's worth pausing once or twice a year to reflect on how our aspirations have changed.

As we identify past images of our lives that are no longer relevant to our future, we can start to rethink our plans. That sets up happiness for us - as long as we are not too fixated on finding it. 

Here is the story of a young man who had been dating a woman for just over a year.

Although it was the most fulfilling relationship he had ever had, he was still questioning whether it was the right match. He had always imagined himself managing a woman who was ambitious in her career or passionate about improving the world. However he was feeling that his girlfriend had seemed less driven and more relaxed in her approach to life.

He met Adam Grant and sought his opinion. Adam Grant asked him how old he was when he formed that vision of a partner and how much he had changed since then.

He replied that he had held it since he was a teenager. He had never paused to rethink it.

As they conversed, the young man started to realize that if he and his girl friend were happy together, ambition and passion might not be as important to him in a partner as they had been in the past. He came to understand that he was inspired by women who were highly motivated to succeed and serve because, that was who he himself had wanted to be.

Two and and a half years later he reached out with an update. He had decided to let go of his preconceived image of who his partner should be. He said," I decided to open up and talk to her about how she's different from the person I'd imagined being with. Surprisingly, she told me the same thing. I wasn't who she imagined she'd end up with either - she expected to end up with a guy who was more  creative - someone who was more gregarious."

"We accepted it and moved on. I'm thrilled to have left my old ideas behind to make space for the full her and everything our relationship could bring."

Just before the pandemic, he proposed to to her and they were now engaged, writes Adam Grant.

When we are willing to update our ideas of who our partners are, it can give them freedom to evolve and our relationships room to grow.

It simply means you are staying open to who your partner might become instead of having fixed ideas of what your partner should be.

Adam Grant                                                                                                                          
Think Again

ASIAN GAMES AT NAGOYA - 10m Air Pistol event - MANU BHAKER FINISHES FIFTH

 In the absence of caoch and mentor Jaspal Rana, Manu Bhaker finishes fifth                       in the women's 10m air pistol event in the Asian Games at Nagoya

Jaspal Rana was one of the most decorated shooters in Asian Games history with eight medals including four Gold across three editions.

He was the coach and mentor to Manu Bhaker who had won two bronze medals in 2024 at the Paris Olympic Games.

Ever since Jaspal Rana's untimely death in June 2026, the 24 year old Manu Bhaker had maintained a dignified silence.

She spoke to the media after she completed her event in the Asian Games.

"I remember what he (Jaspal Rana) said, not once or twice, but all the time. It just stays with you. When a person has been a big part of your life, it just stays. It is very natural.'

"Of all the things he said, what I remember the most is about the process. He was just so adamant about the process - that at any given point in your life, you have to be able to give your best performance and follow your process."

"Life is very unpredictable. So, live your life to the fullest. Be kind to everyone."

LEAVING A CAREER PATH

 Deciding to leave a career path is often easier than identifying a new one. 

Herminia Ibarra, management professor, finds that as people consider career choices and transitions, it helps when they think like scientists.

The first step towards this is to entertain possible selves. 

Identify some people you admire within or outside your field. Observe what they do at work day by day. 

The second step is to develop hypothesis about how these paths might align with your own interests, skills and values.

The third step is to test out different identities by running experiments - doing informational interviews, job shadowing and sample projects to get a taste of work.

The goal is not to confirm a particular plan.

It is to expand your repertoire of possible selves.

It keeps you open to rethinking

Adam Grant
Think Again