We celebrated it today on the 25th April as it is the fourth Saturday where everyone could join.
The Birthday cake was prepared by Indu, Kaudiar, Trivandrum
It was fantastic.
Indu is an Engineer.
She launched herself into full time cake business
Children are the greatest gifts from God. They bring smiles to our lives. They learn from us. They depend on us. We learn from them. We relive our childhood as we watch them grow.They light up our lives.We live for them.We are their role models.They are there when we are in need. They are special. They are priceless.
Malayala Manorama
Sunday supplement
26 April 2026
List of books
See
A WALK THROUGH THE RAIN
second on the list
Why Indian Retirees Can’t Spend the Money They Sacrificed Their Lives to Save
Mr Sharma (a pseudonym for perhaps your father, uncle, or neighbour) is a success story of the great Indian middle-class dream.
He grew up in an India of scarcity—ration cards, waiting years for a telephone connection, and job security being the ultimate prize. For 40 years, he worked tirelessly in a PSU or a corporate job. He walked to the bus stop to save the autorickshaw fare. He wore shirts until the collars frayed. He sacrificed vacations to pay for IIT coaching and his children’s grand weddings.
Today, at 68, Mr. Sharma is sitting on a paid-off house in a decent locality and a retirement corpus of over ₹3 Crores in FDs, PPF, and mutual funds.
He has won the game. He is financially free.
Yet, last night in the peak of May summer heat, Mr. Sharma woke up sweating because he switched off the AC after running it for exactly one hour. Why waste electricity? he murmured.
This is the tragedy of the modern Indian retiree. They are asset-rich, cash-rich, but lifestyle-poor.
They are suffering from what financial psychologists call The Switch Failure (Inability to spend).
The Psychology of the Eternal Saver
For four decades, the switch in their brain was welded tight to the SAVE position. Every financial decision was filtered through the lens of accumulation. Saving wasn’t just a habit; it was a survival mechanism against an uncertain future in a developing economy.
Then, on the day of retirement, they are suddenly told to flip that switch to SPEND.
They physically cannot do it.
The neural pathways built over 40 years of frugality are too strong. To a lifelong saver, spending money—specifically, decumulating their hard-earned principal—registers in the brain almost like physical pain or moral failure.
They feel they are chopping down the tree they spent their whole life watering.
Symptoms of The Switch Failure in India
You see this manifested in countless Indian households where the parents have more than enough money, yet live in self-imposed austerity:
The FD Interest Trap: They will only spend the interest earned from Fixed Deposits. Touching the principal amount feels like committing a sin. As inflation rises and interest rates fluctuate, their lifestyle shrinks, even though the principal remains untouched.
The Medical Delay: They will have crores in the bank, but will delay a necessary knee replacement surgery or cataract operation for years because it costs too much right now.
The Travel Paradox: At 70 years old, with bad backs, they still book Sleeper Class train tickets for overnight journeys instead of a comfortable 2AC or a flight, simply because the train gets us there too.
The Inheritance Burden: A uniquely Indian pressure is the deep-seated belief that the entire corpus must be preserved for the children. They live like paupers so their 45-year-old, well-settled children can inherit a massive fortune later. "Why Indian Retirees Can’t Spend the Money They Sacrificed Their Lives to Save"
The Great Fear: What if I live too long?
The engine driving this inability to spend is a deep, primal fear of running out of money.
Indian retirees have seen inflation destroy the value of the Rupee over decades. They don’t trust that ₹3 Crores today will be enough 20 years from now when a hospital room might cost ₹50,000 a night.
So, they create a hyper-conservative buffer. They prepare for the absolute worst-case scenario (living to 105 with major medical needs), and in doing so, they completely miss out on the best-case scenario—enjoying the healthy years they have left.
The Final Destination: The Richest Corpse.
The tragic outcome of The Switch Failure is a life unlived.
They sacrificed their 30s, 40s, and 50s for a someday of comfort. But when the day arrives, they are too psychologically damaged by years of scarcity to embrace it.
They become the richest people in the graveyard. They leave behind massive bank balances, perfectly preserved houses, and unspent lockers full of gold jewellery. Their children inherit wealth they often don’t urgently need, while the parents die with regrets of trips not taken, comforts not bought, and generosity not shared.
If you, or your parents, are stuck in this trap, logic won’t fix it. Emotional re-framing is needed.
The Permission to Spend Fund
Create a separate bank account funded by a small portion of the corpus. The rule for this account is simple: This money must be wasted. It cannot be saved, invested, or given to kids. It must be spent on frivolous joy—a luxury hotel stay, a new car, a hobby. If it isn’t spent by the end of the year, it’s donated.
The Bucket Strategy
Divide the wealth. Bucket A is untouchable survival money for medical needs and basic living until age 85/90. Bucket B is lifestyle money. Once Bucket A is secure, the brain relaxes, making it easier to spend from Bucket B without the panic of running out.
Shift the Inheritance perspective
The greatest gift a parent can give adult children isn’t a massive inheritance when the children are already 50 years old. The greatest gift is being happy, healthy, and financially independent parents who enjoy their own lives. Your children want to see you spend your money on you.
The Bottom Line:
Money is stored energy. You spent your life accumulating this energy. If you don’t release it in the form of joy, comfort, and experiences while you are alive, that energy goes to waste.
You didn’t work for 40 years just to be the wealthiest patient in the hospital ward. Flip the switch. Buy the ticket. Turn on the AC. You earned it.
The elderly today are not just focussed on survival, they are focussed on maintaining independence and quality of life.
The biggest concern is overall fitness.
Mobility is crucial.
Even if someone gains six months to a year of independent mobile life, it makes a huge difference to their dignity and well being.
Adam Grant
Think Again
In a heated argument, you can always stop and ask, "What evidence would change your mind?
If the answer is "nothing", there is no point in continuing the debate. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it think.
When someone is losing control, your tranquility is a sign of strength. The more anger and hostility the other person expresses, it ought to evoke more curiosity and interest in you.
It takes the wind out of the emotional sails of the one who loses control. It's pretty rare for someone to respond by screaming "SCREAMING IS MY PREFERRED MODE OF COMMUNICATION!"
When someone becomes hostile, if you respond by viewing the argument as a war, you can either attack or retreat.
If instead you treat it as a dance, you have another option - you can sidestep.
Having a conversation about the conversation shifts the attention away from the substance of the disagreement and towards the process for having a dialogue
Though a basketball team had a big support base, the supporters never bothered to attend their games. In order to motivate the fans to attend the games of the team, they thought the most persuasive message would come from the team itself.
Emails were sent to the fans with quotes from players and coaches about how part of the home crowd advantage stems from the energy of a packed house of cheering fans.
It had no effect. The attendance was dismal.
Then they changed the track.
Emails were sent with just one question.
"Are you planning to attend?"
The attendance climbed to 85 percent.
The question had given the fans freedom to make their own case for going.
The rationale is, psychologists have long found that the person most likely to persuade you to change your mind is you.
You get to pick the reasons you find most compelling and you come away with a real sense of ownership over them.
We don't have to convince them we are right. We just need to open their minds to the possibility that they might be wrong.
Their natural curiosity would do the rest
Adam Grant
THINK AGAIN