PALLIATIVE CARE THAT SHOULD NOT BE

 

Palliative Care that should not be 

This is a real story. But names are changed for privacy.

Mathew and Susan belonged to Kumbanad. They were neighbours. They were of identical age. They had attended school and college together. They were thick friends. Their families, much earlier, had decided to unite them in marriage once they found employment.

In this land where jobs were few and difficult to come by, Mathew and Susan were lucky enough to be appointed as clerks in the Postal Department  as  Clerks at Kottayam. A year after their appointment, the families got together and conducted their marriage as envisaged.

Everything went on well.  Mathew and Susan managed to purchase a house at Devalokam after staying in a rented house for three years. They had two sons in this period.

As time moved on Mathew's father, Alexander, became ill. He needed advanced treatment. As it was available at Kottayam alone and not at Kumbanad, they  brought both the father and the  mother to stay with them.

While the treatment was going on for his father, tragedy struck.  Mathew's mother suddenly had a heart attack. Unfortunately she succumbed to it. 

Now Mathew and Susan had a difficult time. They had to attend to their jobs. They had their children at the school. And there was Mathew's father who needed a male home nurse as he could not move around by himself. 

Mathew, with the help of an agency, was able to locate a male home nurse, Sabu.

Sabu said he would do the job at Rs.20000.00 per month provided the family provided him food.

There was no other go. 

Mathew agreed.

Sabu came and began to look after the ailing father of Mathew.

Initially the arrangement worked out well. Alexander was happy with the service by Sabu.

Later on, Sabu became aggressive. He began ill treating  Alexander. 

Sabu would set the AC at 18 degree even as he could see Alexander was shivering. He would not provide Alexander with hot water to drink to help him withstand the extreme temperature. 

Alexander quietly suffered. He did not convey the difficulties he had faced to Mathew or Susan. As Alexander had to be carried to the bathroom, Sabu had thretened him that he would be throwing him down sharply to the bed if he had said even a word about how he was being ill treated to Mathew or Susan.

Alexander knew very well if Sabu was dismissed, it would be difficult for Mathew and Susan to locate a replacement. As Alexander was in need of constant care, he knew either Mathew or Susan would have to give up their job to look after  him. As he loved them, he did not want to add misery to their lives.

Like every good thing coming to an end,   every bad thing will have to come to an end.

One day Susan returned from the office  a little earlier as she had a splitting head ache. At home she found a shivering Alexander and a Sabu in deep slumber with the AC temperature at the lowest. She just couldn't believe it. They had been under the impression Sabu was looking after Alexander very well. She probed. Alexander couldn't hold back any longer. 

Susan phoned Mathew. She asked him to come at once. 

Sabu was full of regret. He said he would look after Alexander well.thereafter.

Mathew made up his mind. He complained to the agency. They at once recalled Sabu and arranged a replacement. They assured the replacement won't create any mischief.

Fortunately the replacement was good. He took good care of Alexander till he breathed his last after three years.

 

This is the story two girls

 

This is the story two girls

The first one is an MSc Biochemistry, aged 38, with a 14 year old son

She is well eduacted. She had an English medium school education

Her husband is a teacher in a private school

She works as a health inspector in a Municipality in Central Kerala for which the  qualification prescribed is a pass in SSLC.  She got the job because she is  an SSLC pass. We can see that her PG degree and  her 7 years in the College were a waste. 

She became health inspector after getting through a course recognised by the Govt. Her job is to visit houses and ensure everything is clean everywhere. Her first question everywhere is, is there a dog. She steps in when the reply is negative. She enquires if  is there anyone here with fever. She conveys that dengue is prevalent everywhere. She asks  whether the house has any plants inside and whether there are little pools of water that breed mosquitoes. 

Then she advises how to carry on without contracting any infectious disease. 

Job over she leaves 

The second is an Engineer.  She is a pass out from LBS Trivandrum.  She works in a Bank.as a clerk.  She must be around 35.

Her husband, an engineering graduate is employed in another bank as a clerk.

They have a seven year old girl who attends a premium school. 

She says she joined the bank because she couldn't find a job as an engineer. 

She concludes, "You don't get a job in the field you are trained."

This is the bane of  Kerala.  Jobs are few. Your qualification does not provide you the job for which you are trained. 

 

PERMANENT SEATS

 

PERMANAENT SEATS

Christ Church on The Ridge in Shimla is the historic church known for having specifically designated, permanent seats for the Viceroy/Governor-General/ Commander in Chief during the British Raj. Consecrated in 1857, it served the Anglican community in the summer capital, with its prominent location highlighting its importance to colonial leadership. As the second oldest church in North India, it served as a primary place of worship for the British elite. Designed by Colonel J.T. Boileau in the Neo-Gothic style, it is known for its stained-glass windows and prominent bell tower. Situated near the town's centre (The Ridge), it was central to social life in the summer capital. 

 

The Church we attend has a large membership.

Every week Worship is conducted there in four languages - Tamil, English, Malayalam and Hindi

The English Worship is attended by a large number of people. Many of them are retired officials, who had been employed outside Kerala for the greater part of their lives. Then we have the people who have settled down in Trivandrum after their stint abroad or in other states in India . Please add to that people who have migrated to Trivandrum on the demands of their jobs or for the convenience the city offered. Another attraction is the convenient timing that enables the worshippers to proceed for their engagements after the conclusion of the Worship. 

The beauty of the worship in English is many who attend the Worship have fixed seats on the pews. You can see them occupying the very same seat, week after week, month after month, year after year. They dislike anyone else occupying their seat. They'd somehow manage to push the poacher out and regain their seat. No one would grudge their antics as they are all aged and contribute magnanimously to the projects initiated by the Church.

Once, the occupant of a permanent seat had fallen ill. He had to be admitted to a premium Hospital. His seat had fallen vacant in his absence. 

Since he had very good relations with most of the people at the Church, several of his friends had visited him at  the hospital. 

When one of his close friends had called on him, he enquired what had happened to his own seat at the Church. He wanted to know whether it had been taken over by anyone else. The friend assured him that the seat was very safe as he himself has occupied it to prevent anyone else from appropriating it. He said he was praying fervently for his friend's discharge from the hospital hale and hearty.   He assured that his friend could have his permanent seat back when he returned. 

It was a big relief for the invalid. He soon regained his health and was back at his own place in the Church.

However, the seat arrangements go haywire when the Church holds combined worships on special occasions. The permanent seat holders desist from attending the worship on those days as they know they may not be able to hold on to their own seats on those days. But as their faith is staunch, they ensure that their enforced absence does not contribute to a fall in the revenue of the Church as the Church manages its financial challenges with the help of the handsome contributions from those high end believers. They would send in their contributions through money transfers or though their friends who attend the worship. 

And once the order is restored they would be back at their own seats.

That keeps everyone happy.

Today, the 29th December 2025

 

It's 6 am now. 

Today, the 29th December 2025, brings alive the memories and events of the day 48 years ago. They are vivid. Each second is etched in my mind. It will stay there forever.

 It was the 29th December 1977. 

The date of Wedding.

Papa, like he always did, called everyone to converge for the morning prayer.

The day began.

As the house was overflowing with relatives who had descended to participate in the wedding, we all sat on mats spread around. Except of course Mummy, who sat on the lone chair. Stricken with brain tumor and  partial paralysis that struck her and all of us out of the blue, it was a big relief when the treatment at CMC Vellore restored her functions to near normalcy. Though we thought everything was normal, time was running short for her.

Blissfully we were unaware.

Prayer over, the events were fast paced.

We are an unknown couple

 

We are an unknown couple

We would remain as that for ever

But we had silently brought up our children.

We never forced anything upon them though we hoped they would become doctors or engineers., the way of the world around us.

They had no interest for that.

We gave it up.

At every turn of their lives we were there. 

We watched them grow into adults.

We knew they had to read if they had to survive.

They never showed any inclination to read.

We introduced English and Malayalam comics. We filled our house with heaps of them.

They were hooked. That took them to fiction and newspapers.

When they lagged we analysed the causes.

We went about it quietly. 

We went on to correct ourselves and the children

They went after their passion.

They struggle, but lead good lives.

What else do we wish to see.

St. Paul's MarThoma Church, Chanthavila, Kazhakootam, Trivandrum

 

The St. Paul's MarThoma Church, Chanthavila, Kazhakootam, Trivandrum that has been rebuilt,  is scheduled to be dedicatecd on 21st February 2026. Saturday.

They had demolished the old dilapidated structure and a beautiful Church has come up in its place. It is elegant.It is serene. It is stunning. It is visible from afar. The architecture could be Gothic, but I am not good at commenting on that. It must have cost them a sizeable sum. MarThoma Churches have a speciality. They raise the funds through contributions- not forced - from its own members. It is nothing but sacrifice. The members are all middleclass or from the lower strata of the society.  The interesting part is there are 40 families only from among the membership of 100 families who are really capable to join the campaign to raise the funds. 

Thers is  a visitor from Central Travancore. He came down to spend time with his close relatives. His people are members of the Church. 

He told me, they were leaving on Saturday, the day of dedication

I suggested it would be good if they stayed on to witness the dedication of the church. I said it was not an everyday occurrence. It is a fact, most  of the people do not get a chance to witness such an event in their lifetime. 

I added I was fortunate enough to attend the dedication of churches  a few times and they were spectacular.

I don't know what he is going to do. Basically it's his choice.

PLEASE HAVE A CASUAL GLANCE. YOU DON'T HAVE TO PAY FOR IT

 Rev Dr NK Prasad, Faculty, KUT Seminary, Kannammoola, wanted people to know of my book 

A Walk Through The Rain 

He arranged to display the book at the CSI Christ Church on 15thFebruary, Sunday last.

Unfortunately the response was not good.

 I wrote to Prasad Achen 

"Grateful to you for deputing our representative to Christ Church on the 15thFebruary, Sunday last.

I did feel the response in terms of sales had been poor.

But I am happy, the book was on display during and after the English and Malayalam Worships.

Personally, I know I do quite a lot of window-shopping. We go around and observe what is on offer. We show no inclination to purchase anything at that point. 

Later on another point of time we return to that and lap it up.

There is a textile shop Janalaksmi at Safalyam, Palayam.

Once, as we were passing by, the owner, a very young man, invited us to step in.

He said in Malayalam, "Veruthe onnu nokkial mathi. Nokkunnathinu onnum tharenda."

We did have a casual look at the stock on display. We went away after that without buying anything. 

But, later on, we have visited the shop several times and have picked up what we needed from there. 

It's the human tendency.

But back to the book. 

As I stood there at the Church after the English Worship savouring the tea that was served, MsAshwati, sought me out with the book and requested me to autograph it. Her husband was with her - a former LtGeneral in the Indian Army. They are our neighbours at Kannammoola.. Her father had been supporting KUTS, when he was around.

At that moment I felt very happy, I wrote the book. I was still more happy, I could see it going on sale at my own Church, unworthy as I am.

Grateful once again to you dear Achen for supporting me."